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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fearless-Pipe7307 on 2023-09-17 17:23:40.
My ex and I were together for 9 years and we had a son who was 3 when I learned my ex got another woman pregnant. I filed for divorce right away and he moved in with his other woman. Right after the birth of my ex's daughter the other woman disappeared off the face of the earth. My ex's sister told me that the other woman hadn't wanted a baby and it was suspected she moved back to the UK, where she was originally from, but that none of them knew for sure.
Ex and I have equal parenting time with our son. We are supposed to split the cost of things but I normally pay more because he's unable to provide everything. The judge ruled no child support because we technically make the same. It's just he has an extra mouth to feed. Our son is now 8 and ex's daughter is 5.
My ex has expressed concerns a few times about how much more our son has. Our son wanted to do extra curricular's so I pay for those. I also make sure he has all he needs for school. While my ex struggles to provide for his daughter the way our son is provided for. Ex wanted us to "work together so both kids can be equally looked after" and I told ex it is not my job to ensure his daughter is provided for. I told him he has two kids to provide for while I have one and that is his fault, not mine.
He argued that I should be thinking of the kids, who are innocent, when I make this decision and I said no.
Ex raised even more concerns after the kids went back to school (his daughter going to elementary school for the first time) and his daughter had less school supplies than our son and he said I didn't send them to his house (son kept them on him since he was with me the first day of school). He said his daughter noticed her brother had cooler stuff and was upset. He also said his daughter had to dip into some class supplies while our son had more than enough. He mentioned their school bags being way different quality, etc. And he said this is going to make his daughter's life much harder in the future because she won't understand why.
I didn't care about his concerns and reminded him again that I am not responsible for his daughter in any way. He went off on me and said I was being shitty person dismissing his concerns and he said we are meant to work these things out together.
AITA?