Show up with your wife.
And kids
Talk about your ex. Or at least that's a pro tip that I like to hear often
If the ex somehow comes up in conversation, just say "we just weren't compatible and broke things off amicably, and are both better people now" and leave it at that
I made this mistake (had a relationship for 8 years that started when I was 16) at the time, so I had zero dating experience. The girl I had a date with thought: "ok, then this'll just be a one night stand, he's not bad looking."
More than 6 years later we're married with a daughter, dog and cat.
Or my ax
Fart in their general direction.
That's a sign of true love
Unfortunately not on the first date... No.
Pathetic
Especially if it smells of elderberries
I was gonna say take a dump on their bumper but yours works too
get pregnant
Well, I (unintentionally) called someone ugly after she removed her mask, there was no second date
How do you do that unintentionally?? Did you just blurt it out? Did she remove the mask and you couldn't hold in an "eugh"? I must know!
Murder tends to be frowned upon.
Using your phone constantly
Shit on the table
What if it's a really nice sturdy table and you don't want your date taking it home with them?...
Don't inspire fear or disgust, that's the basics.
Order the lobster. Or you'll have to put out
Don't start planning a family
Show up naked with your dog, sit at the table and spread some peanut butter on your balls.
Talk about zodiac signs for an hour. Yeah I'm looking at you Laura, fuck you and your zodiac signs. I don't care if mercury is retrograde.
Ask me zero questions and/or not contribute much to the conversation. I want to get to know you, and I want a partner who is genuinely interested in getting to know me.
Asklemmy
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~