Elon, if you developed a really ferocious strain of ass-cancer, do you think it would affect your entire body?

You do realize, until you get help, you're always going to hate yourself; you'll never be happy. Right?

Can I please be seated anywhere else

It depends. Am I armed?

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

Why do you think nobody has killed you yet?

I would kindly ask him to shove a cactus up his ass :3

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

"How many billions is enough?"

I'm guessing the answer would be something like "It's never enough."

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

"Hey, man, like what the fuck? Actually tho."

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

"I brought you a cup of hot novachuk tea."

What's it like to have all your kids hate you?

I'd ask for his wife's number

How's your family?

"get out of my sun"

Impossible. I’d never put myself in a situation where it’s possible to sit next to this asshole.

Can I ask the question with my ass? I would rip the loudest, wettest, stankiest fart and then blame it on him.

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

"How many of your kids hate you?"

You wanna buy some art as a tax writeoff?

takes out sharpie and writes ,000,000 at the end of a $10 price tag.

You already know. You don't even have to ask. You know exactly what any one of us on this site would do to Elon Musk or Donald Trump behind closed doors, and you know without even thinking about it for a second.

...whatever it may be.