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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Every-Raise-4378 on 2023-09-22 17:21:27.

My sister Jess (36) and her husband Greg (40s) just got custody of Greg’s nephew Toni (3) Greg’s sister is a drug addict who abandoned her kid of course there’s no father in the picture either.

My mom Tammy thinks we should throw a baby shower for Toni who’s 3 to welcome him officially into the family. I have 3 kids of my own and I’m hurt over my mom just accepting this is how it is. Jess and Greg have good jobs that paid for the adoption process and the get more parents leave than I did for my own children that was either pushed or cut out of my body.

My family acts like I’m in the wrong that Toni has had a family this whole time and throwing baby shower and helping Jess out with her new child is sweet. I don’t understand how this is a thing with my mom when has has five other grandchildren and she’s all into Toni and feels sorry for him.

I don’t think Toni will even understands why everyone is getting gifts and cake. It might even confuse him. My mom is like what baby (again he’s 3) doesn’t want a party and she said she would do the same thing for my brother and I.

I finally get my brother on the phone who has his two children and he told me I shouldn’t even come to the party if I’m going to be a b…c and now my mom agrees with me. They are planning this “baby shower” in a few weeks and I’m not invited, nor is my DH or my kids. I still think everything is blown out of proportion and my husband side of the family agrees and thinks we should host our own party the day of the baby shower to see where everyone loyalty lies.