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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Few_Temperature_7624 on 2023-09-26 00:14:21.
I (52F) have a son who I will call Asher (18M), and a couple years ago we had a cat named Luna who was our family's pet for 19 years. Around 2 years ago, my husband passed away in his sleep from a heart attack related to complications from his Diabetes.
After my husband's death, Asher went off the rails. Accused me of trying to get rid of my husband. Accused me of cheating. Accusing me of wanting to get rid of our cat. Even threatened to get rid of my late mother's ashes. He ended up having to get hospitalized where the doctors told me he had schizophrenia, and I was advised to rehome our cat by several family members. So I contacted a close family friend and asked her if she was willing to take in the cat, which she took in the cat while my son was in the hospital.
When my son got home, I told him that Luna had gotten very sick and stopped eating while he was gone, and the vet decided she had to be put down. It took him a while, but eventually he accepted it as the truth and mourned the loss of his cat. I felt so bad lying to him like that, but I was worried if he knew the cat was still around, he would have a worse outcome.
Recently, while at a family dinner, one of my nieces told him that Luna was still alive and told him where she was at. Asher ended up confirming that what happened was the truth, and went off on me. Yelled at me for lying to me, for daring to get rid of Luna. I told him I didn't feel like she was safe here and that multiple family members advised me to rehome her. He wasn't having it, and has since stayed shut in his room for a week. He only begrudgingly comes out for dinner, where he yells at me and calls me a terrible mother, and drags his food back to his room.
Am I wrong here? Did I do something bad by not being honest to him? Was I wrong for getting rid of Luna? These questions keep me awake for hours on end sometimes, and now more than ever do these questions haunt my mind.