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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fabulous-Bunny6345 on 2023-09-25 23:13:01.
My dad (46m) has been a widower since my brother and I (22m and 22f) were 11. We all took it really hard when my mom died, and for the rest of when my brother and I were in middle school/high school he didn’t date at all, even though we and the rest of our family (including my mom’s parents) encouraged him to. Only when my brother and I went off to college did he start to date, though he was always pretty private about it and never introduced us to any of the women he was dating. When I’d ask him for details he’d always explain that my mom would always be the love of his life and that he didn’t have anything to share since he was dating just for companionship and not seriously.
Recently however he said that he wants to introduce me to someone he’s been seeing. I was excited for him and said I’d love to meet her… but it turns out she’s 26, so only 4 years older than me. Apparently they’ve been seeing each other “casually” (yuck) for over a year, but things became serious after they found they really liked spending time together and realized how much they have in common. I was obviously super upset because this girl is my age and so much younger than my dad, so later I confronted him and he said that he didn’t see what the big deal was, and that most of the women he’d been seeing in the past were in their late 20s, which is just… yuck.
Since then, I’ve been visiting home less and will find ways to excuse myself when she’s around. My dad called me out on it and said that he understands that it’s probably not easy for me to see him dating someone after so long, but that he would really appreciate it if I would put in more of an effort to get to know her or at least be civil.
AITA?
Eta: To all the people saying that I’m being shallow for judging her based solely on her age, that’s not why I’m upset. I actually like her and I think they have a lot of hobbies/interests in common. What makes me not want to be around is the fact that my dad (by his own admission) was pretty much solely dating girls in their 20s, even though our family had offered to set him up with plenty of attractive, smart, fun women his own age. And it’s like if my own dad is uninterested in dating a woman in her 40s, what does that mean for me when I’m that age?