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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Life-Direction-951 on 2023-09-26 19:51:22.

I think this might be a minor issue but I am severely socially anxious and the guilt is haunting me 👎 I didn't want to post this on a vegan sub because I think the answer there would be obvious. I know most people here are not vegan and I want to know what is objectively annoying for the sake of maintaining healthy human relationships.

Basically I am vegan. I have been for a long time, everyone around me knows etc. I have strong opinions but I don't talk about it a lot because I don't want to be annoying and I try to be nice when people ask about it because I feel that is the most productive thing I can do. I try to just mind my own business but ultimately this is something that is important to me and my friends know that.

I was talking to some of my friends today, eventually food comes up, eventually meat comes up. They were discussing their favorite types of meat and all that stuff, which is fine, but not a conversation I want to be part of. Obviously I was uncomfortable and zoned out a little. I understand suddenly going quiet and looking uninterested is not the nicest way to act but I'm not sure what else I could have done.

They saw I wasn't participating and started asking questions to me, like what my favorite type of meat was before I went vegan or just saying things to me directly, like, looking at me in the eyes. I was very uncomfortable at this point but I still did not want to be rude so I just shrugged and nodded and tried to focus on something else.

Eventually they get mad. Like Mad mad. Saying I'm so annoying for acting superior when they talk about these things or being rude and not answering their questions, accusing me of feeling x way. I had no idea what to do and I just explained that I was uncomfortable talking about this and they should probably be aware of that. I don't think I said anything mean to them in the entire conversation, I just wasn't participating — they can talk about whatever they want, but I didn't know why they wanted to involve me in it when they know how I feel about it. I still don't know what they wanted me to do... like they expected me to be enthusiastic about it?? I think it's obvious the thing we disagree on is our enthusiasm about meat?

I honestly don't know. I hope this is not a stupid post. I just want to know if there was a better way to act in that moment because I want to talk about this with the friends involved and I want to avoid similar situations in the future. I know being quiet is rude and I hadn't explicitly set this boundary before because I am both bad at setting boundaries and afraid of sounding crazy so maybe it was my bad. I just thought it'd be obvious considering I don't really hide my opinions even if I don't bring them up daily, and even if it wasn't I was really sad at her reaction to my lack of interest. Thank you for any judgment.