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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ZealousidealTea5062 on 2023-09-30 06:22:56.
My husband (M25) and I (F25) have a six-week-old daughter. She's our first baby and the first grandchild in both of our families. We were advised by our pediatrician to not allow anyone besides ourselves to kiss our baby for the first 8-12 weeks minimum. This has been communicated to both of our families who have been respectful of this (as well as our other boundaries/rules) despite a little bit of grumbling about it from his side.
Last weekend we were over at my in-laws house and I had just finished breastfeeding my daughter, so she was all sleepy. I kissed her forehead before settling her to nap on my chest.
My MIL noticed and immediately remarked on it in a super passive-aggressive manner: "Oh, I'm so glad that we're able to kiss [baby] now! Did your pediatrician update the rules?"
I was super confused and asked her what she meant and that the pediatrician's recommendation hadn't changed. She then accused me of violating the rules by kissing my own baby. I told her that the recommendation was that no one besides myself and my husband kiss our daughter, and she argued and heavily implied that I was being dishonest because I'd previously said "nobody can kiss the baby" rather than "nobody but husband and I can kiss the baby."
She went on and on about this until I snapped that it should've been obvious that the rules we told her regarding our baby were about what we would/wouldn't allow OTHER PEOPLE people to do. She called me a hypocrite so I got up and shut myself in the guest room while my daughter continued to nap on me.
A little while later MIL came in and "apologized," claiming it was a kneejerk reaction and she was just confused and upset. She said she understands now that the rule only applies to other people. She then asked me if I would avoid kissing my baby in front of her until she's allowed to do so as well, because it's upsetting to see me doing that and knowing that she can't.
I told her I can understand that it's frustrating to have strong urge to kiss a baby and not be able to. But I am personally not going to stop kissing my own baby for the sake of her feelings. MIL is calling me disrespectful and a hypocrite and has gotten SIL on board with this as well. AITA?