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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by blueskiesoc@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[-] persolb@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

I think there might be an axis here that is different than ADHD.

I certainly don’t have ADHD, but I don’t have any habits (outside of muscle memory, walking, breathing, etc) that works the way OP describes.

I brush my teeth because I think I should. A ‘habit to me’ is just that ‘situation X reminds me to do thing Y’.

[-] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I haven't been fully tested but my doctor agrees it is likely I have ADHD and this is all new to me, grain of salt.

I definitely do things without thinking. Drinking, snacking, vaping, reaching for phone just because my hands need to be busy. Mindless stuff.

As for what I think most neurotypical people consider habits I have maybe one that is somewhat automatic for me and that is I ALWAYS do my skincare and teeth before bed. But part of that is because that routine is really good sleep hygiene. Like it is still a decision, still a bit of a chore, but it would feel VERY wrong and off if I didn't do it.

Then um let's see I've been taking the same medication at the same time for over 15 years now and I still need an alarm on my phone and I have still forgotten to take it if I don't take it that very second. At least most of the time later in the day I suddenly remember...

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[-] Patricia@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

This is interesting. I'm an NT with several NDs in my family. This explains a lot about my husband and about my kids as they were growing up. The odd thing is, I also have a difficult time with developing habits and have to make myself do pretty much everything.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The only habits I seem to have are bad ones. Is that the ADHD or am I just shit?

[-] blueskiesoc@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

You are shit.

~Just~ ~kidding.~ ~I~ ~love~ ~you.~

[-] feck_it@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

Nothing is a habit, eveything is an alarmed notification. This is the lifestyle i will lead to late future since can't afford therapy and ritalin anymore

[-] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

I don't think I have ADHD but that is the same with me.

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[-] fidodo@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

I don't think any body for example would brush their teeth completely sub consciously, but when it becomes a habit I'd say it becomes the default choice rather than something you need to remember to go out of your way to do.

[-] randfur@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

The reminder and decision to do it becomes automatic. The action is still manual but easily becomes autopilot once started.

[-] KazuyaDarklight@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I'm a little split on the implied "degree" of automation/lack of thought. But maybe "I" am the one that's split.

[-] michael@possumpat.io 3 points 1 year ago

Reading this post and the comments has made me question whether I am neurotypical or not. I was never diagnosed with any kind of neurodivergence, but autism is present in my family. Is it possible that I’ve picked up ways of thinking from them or is it likely that I have some of the same traits, if not enough to warrant a diagnosis?

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this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
608 points (88.0% liked)

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