I feel your pain. I wish I had a better first name or middle name to go by but I’m stuck between a shit place and a shitter place. And none of the nicknames I tried to get assigned actually worked out for me so.. I either get nicknames I hate as much as the name itself or nothing. Super fun!
And if you want to change names, holy fuck, best of luck!
At least you have something you can relate to? I have never met anyone, of any gender, named Shay. I know that doesn’t necessarily help… but.. it’s definitely not something I’d (as a solid middle age sort of person) consider a gendered name. Not more so than Aaron/Erin or any other neutral name..
There’s no name I actively want to go by, is the problem. I’ve tried with minor changes but nobody took them and they aren’t things I can just be like “this is me” because it… wouldn’t be actually? I’m envious of people who have the option to choose their own name, or how to apply it. Mine is so short there’s like 2 nickname options and I hate both. Passionately.
Best I’ve ever come up with would take a full name change (first middle last) to be worth doing. And that’s not worth doing.
I’m super glad it was effective for you, though, honestly that’s what matters. If it matters enough that you have a preference, it matters. My preference is just “anything else please” and that’s not a good option for most people, which.. legit.
No judgement on your relationships, whatever works. I haven’t the energy to be weird about it :)