I'm not the most knowledgable on this, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

What should be the most important is how you yourself feel, and then labels should come with that, and not the other way around: you shouldn't "choose" to identify as demiboy, and then try to change how you act and behave to try and match what's on the label.

The fun in labels and the such is that you can interpret them as you want (for yourself)! You can say you identify as demiboy and mean with that 100 boy, 50 girl or 100 boy, 23 girl or even 100 boy, 75 girl and none of those are more correct or a better fit to the demiboy label: it all comes down to what you decide "demiboy" means to you (also this applies to any other gender you might identify as, I'm just picking demiboy as an example as it's a bit more specific).

Also, you can always change your mind after choosing a label, it isn't set in stone so another option you have is to just pick one and roll with it, find out how it feels and how YOU feel about it, and if you don't like it then pick something else and try that!

I hope this makes some sense and is maybe helpful. Good luck on your discovery journey !

In this case yeah, it's formulated quite awkwardly by me since (I'm just gonna stick to she) she goes by she/her in daily life, but online she uses she/them and she told me she felt nonbinary to some degree although she hadn't told anyone else so I didn't really know what pronouns to use so I thought "let's roll with both".

Her exact words were something like "I just go by as female because I don't want to deal with the hassle of having to explain to people" so I actually don't know what she'd prefer in an ideal world

That's in a way a bit what I'm wondering about, like I don't want to come off as performative so I usually wouldn't bring it up except if the context made it relevant, but I also don't know if not explicitly supporting the LGBTQ community is passively enabling bigotry or something

Like I don't feel like I'm an ally because I don't really go out of my way to show it? I don't really know how to explain it other than my sister who is very explicitly an ally, like she has a bunch of rainbow stuff in her room and on her backpack etc and has a lot of queer friends while on my end I don't really show that? Like of course if someone was being a piece of shit towards my gay friends I'd step up and try and defend them, but that goes for any of my friends too?

Again I don't really know how to word it but I don't recognize myself in the term "ally" (although I've been considering putting a rainbow pin on my backpack or something because rainbows are cool)