Hey comrade,
Tens of millions of gay people can and do exist in both countries despite the lagging recognition of rights at the federal level—much like the United States in the 2000s in which I grew up—because they are diverse places with attitudes that vary widely depending on location and subculture. The struggle for legal recognition is to be fought and won by the queer people who live there and to whom we lend our solidarity.
In particular, Russia's reactionary cultural attitudes were inflamed by its capitalist restoration in the 1990s, and Putin's homophobia is frequently criticized by progressive anti-imperialists. Although many who inhabit this community have a false notion otherwise, we're not prone to black-and-white thinking (such as labeling countries "shitholes").

I know of at least one Hexbear who has moved to China.
Allow me to make an analogy: Millions of left-liberals in the United States hold up Canada as a model country that they would like to live in, yet comparatively few (perhaps 1 in 1000) ever make the move.
Does that prove that those liberals are insincere in their admiration, that they secretly consider Canada to be a "shithole" country and only pretend otherwise for the sake of political posturing? No! It's because permanently immigrating to any country is extremely difficult at best, and frequently impossible.
Countries do not just give out citizenship to people who ask politely. It usually requires some kind of employer sponsorship. Think of the millions of people who literally live in the United States right now and want citizenship but can't get it.
Now take all of those difficulties involved in a move across the border to Canada and multiply them by at least two, and you have some idea of the practical barriers to moving to a place like China, a country much farther away with a much different language which gives out fewer employer sponsorships.
You can find more answers in our recent discussion of the topic here.