differently hacky idea:
since you do end up with all the packages in a repository on the filesystem, and you just want to have it do this just-in-time updating when the Packages file is accessed...
what if you list it as a normal file apt source, but you make the Packages file a FIFO?
it's a cursed idea but I'm not sure it is any less cursed than the other options we've come up with.
it may or may not help to have systemd.socket manage creating the FIFO and running the service.
I went way down the rabbit hole on this one and ended up with a proof of concept that's probably close enough to be able to wire it up: https://gitlab.com/-/snippets/3745244
I guess it didn't end up too much code, but I'm not entirely sure it's worth it.
(it's after 3 AM? oh no what have I done)
Stable LM looks like it's actually CC-BY-SA, which I think would meet the Open Source Definition.
But none of the Stable Diffusion or Stable Audio models are released under such a license.
uh, because TypeScript is an object-oriented language, as are the Deno APIs? I'm not sure I understand the question.