I've been using Matrix/Element for around three years. I have there my family, a couple of friends and a couple of services that use it for alert, information. I host a non-federated server on a VPS in Germany. My approach has been simple: do you want to chat with me? Use Matrix. Otherwise, call me or send me emails.
If privacy is important for you, then make it a priority.
I read that and I do need vacation now. This reading stressed me too much.
Me too! I'be been using it for two years and it's my chat application with my family and (some) friends. I'm happy with the stability and overall functionalities.
I've settled on Ubuntu in 2008, but jumped between Gnome, KDE, Unity and LXDE. Then I got a Steam Deck last year and it became my main machine, so now I am not only with its Arch based OS, but I a secondary Arch SD card that I occasionally boot, if I need something not immediately available in SteamOS.
Servers? Debian Since 2019.
I've been using it for many years with my four mailboxes and I am very happy with it!