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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/One_Raspberry4313 on 2023-09-25 22:23:04.

t/w: miscarriage

my husband has a twin brother who we do not keep much in contact with due to past drama with him and his wife. Sometime last year, they got pregnant but it unfortunately ended in a miscarriage a week or two after they found out. As we don’t talk much outside of family gatherings, we found out about the miscarriage from their mom a few weeks later. They never told us directly, so we never reached out to them to say anything about it. At family functions when we’re all sort of forced to be together, there is nothing more than “Hi’s” and “Bye’s” said between us all, and even that is touch and go sometimes; but we overheard that they have been trying again for the past 6 months to get pregnant again.

Well unexpectedly and very unplanned, I found out I’m pregnant some time ago. I’m about 10 weeks now and we pretty much have no intention of telling them about our pregnancy, we know they will find out on socials but we don’t feel the need, nor really even want to, reach out directly to tell them our pregnancy news, as we really don’t know how they would react, especially since they lost theirs less than a year ago. I obviously don’t want to be insensitive to their situation or to their feelings, but there has been so much past tension/drama to the point where I don’t feel obligated to tell them anything about our lives, especially since they make it a point to keep us out of theirs (ie. we were not invited to their wedding, we weren’t told they were even pregnant or that it ended in miscarriage)

AITA for not telling them at all and just waiting till they find out on social media like everyone else?

Update: For added context, my husband was invited to the wedding, was originally intended to be the best man, I was uninvited due to fear from the Bride of “being upstaged at her own wedding” this was said directly from his brother to us, so naturally my husband said he will not be going and his invitation was taken away. (My husband and I are professional models, and his brother’s bride is a very insecure person and was a major bride-zilla)

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PossessionDistinct79 on 2023-09-25 18:34:47.

Me and my partner have broken up due to her refusing to look after me during my recovery from back surgery. Bit of backstory been together around 3 years and the relationship hasn't been completely smooth sailing due to issues we both suffer from but there is the foundation of love underneath. We don't live together as we both work in different parts of the city and it made sense to stay separate, plus she didn't want to rent together so I always did the traveling going over to hers in the evenings and weekends despite it being a major pain in the butt sometimes. Anyway I had back surgery and she took me home from the hospital and then just kind of never came back, I asked her repeatedly to come help me wash, take me shopping so I could eat but she would nearly always refuse as she said she was tired from work. Sometimes she would say she would come so I would wait and look forward to her coming only for her to let me down and claim she didn't like it at mine as I have a cat and she hates cats. But I told her she could lock the cat out or something for a few hours if she wanted too and I needed her as I was laid up unable to really move and was pretty lonely. Regardless she only came 3 or 4 times and made it clear she hated being there, she kept saying that I needed to come to hers and when I expressed that I couldn't move she said I should "use public transport". Anyway I ended it over that but am I being selfish by asking for help and support? Now we were arguing before the surgery due to some insignificant reason or other which doesn't help and I have been quite depressed and grumpy since the surgery as staring at the wall all day hasn't been fun, but I have apologised endlessly for being grumpy. What do you guys think?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Few_Temperature_7624 on 2023-09-26 00:14:21.

I (52F) have a son who I will call Asher (18M), and a couple years ago we had a cat named Luna who was our family's pet for 19 years. Around 2 years ago, my husband passed away in his sleep from a heart attack related to complications from his Diabetes.

After my husband's death, Asher went off the rails. Accused me of trying to get rid of my husband. Accused me of cheating. Accusing me of wanting to get rid of our cat. Even threatened to get rid of my late mother's ashes. He ended up having to get hospitalized where the doctors told me he had schizophrenia, and I was advised to rehome our cat by several family members. So I contacted a close family friend and asked her if she was willing to take in the cat, which she took in the cat while my son was in the hospital.

When my son got home, I told him that Luna had gotten very sick and stopped eating while he was gone, and the vet decided she had to be put down. It took him a while, but eventually he accepted it as the truth and mourned the loss of his cat. I felt so bad lying to him like that, but I was worried if he knew the cat was still around, he would have a worse outcome.

Recently, while at a family dinner, one of my nieces told him that Luna was still alive and told him where she was at. Asher ended up confirming that what happened was the truth, and went off on me. Yelled at me for lying to me, for daring to get rid of Luna. I told him I didn't feel like she was safe here and that multiple family members advised me to rehome her. He wasn't having it, and has since stayed shut in his room for a week. He only begrudgingly comes out for dinner, where he yells at me and calls me a terrible mother, and drags his food back to his room.

Am I wrong here? Did I do something bad by not being honest to him? Was I wrong for getting rid of Luna? These questions keep me awake for hours on end sometimes, and now more than ever do these questions haunt my mind.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Responsible_Ear_9003 on 2023-09-26 00:05:27.

So my grandmother left me behind her house when she passed a couple of years ago along with some inheritance. I was living in another state going to school so I just rented it out to some college students since its right next to a college town. My hometown is in a flyover state and I live in Miami, so I honestly dont see myself going back to ever live there. The last residents moved out in August.

When I left to go to school, my brother was in a relationship with his longterm girlfriend. Me and her are really close, my mother wasnt into makeup or haircare/skincare so she taught me everything I know. She stood by my brother when he was robbed and stabbed and was his caretaker during that entire period. They have two sons together.

It ended badly recently, he cheated on her with a woman that has five kids and is now living with her and them. He left my SIL (they were common law married) in the dust since she was a SAHM. I am her guarantor on her apartment since she cant afford to make three times the rent but she found a job that she can afford her rent with. This was back in March.

My brother and I got into a huge argument about the situation. He hasnt seen my nephews since he moved out, even when they go over to our mothers house while my SIL is at work, yet hes playing stepdad to his girlfriends five kids since none of their fathers are involved. They call him dad and everything and he recently posted about how they went to the courthouse and got married.

He called me recently crying saying their rent went up 500 dollars and he cant afford it and he drove by my grandmas house and saw it’s getting maintenance work done and its empty so can he please live there once everythings done with his “family” since otherwise they’ll be homeless in his car. Might I add, we are half siblings so my grandma that left me the house isnt his. We have the same mother and different fathers.

I told him to be so serious and that I would never allow his so called “family” to live there and that Im planning to sell it since the value on it is higher than ever now and to go see his BIO kids who are his real family that he abandoned. He got even more upset and said he cant believe I’d rather sell a house instead of renting to him (at a discount mind you) and Im evil for watching five kids be homeless in a car and to stop choosing his ex over him since hes my brother and he knows I helped his ex get her apartment so Im a huge asshole for not helping his “kids” and I’m their aunt?? I hung up on him and hes crying to our family and social media saying Im an evil landlord and that I wont rent to his “family”. So many people are saying Im an asshole. AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GalaApples93 on 2023-09-25 20:55:23.

My husband and I welcomed our first baby into the world a few months ago, to say the least it’s been pretty hectic as we are first time parents. My oldest sister, let’s call her Lilly, is in a wheel chair and lives on her own with round the clock care. For the past 10ish years I have taken care of my sister along side with other caregivers. And before anyone ask, my mom is simply to old and unhealthy to care for her in recent years (she’s also sorta been absent from caring for her).

I would go to her house 7 days a week, I was there anywhere between 10pm-7am every day. Around 36 weeks I took leave to focus on myself and baby, my sister seem to have had an issue with this. She complained to anyone who would listen that I wouldn’t talk to her. Mind you, I was strictly focusing on preparing for the arrival of my baby and hardly had time or mental energy to conversate with anyone.

Lilly is very emotionally demanding. She expects your time when she wants it. Being that her mind is at 15 years old despite being 45. I could not do this. I couldn’t give her more of my time than I already had.

After my baby was born I became so drained of any emotional or social energy. I struggled with postpartum depression, my physical recovery was painful and exhausting, I’m still recovering intact. During this my sister bombarded everyone any myself for my time. Saying she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t speak to her. I would go off to tell her she needed to give me time to recover, this wasn’t good enough and she persisted.

Finally I snapped, told her she was not entitled to my time and that iv been struggling with adjusting and that she needed to give me time. She constantly wanted to know when I’d return to work (I get paid by the state to take care of her). Or when I’d be by with my newborn.

My sister didn’t like my radio silence and decided to fire me in the middle of my recovery because o wouldn’t communicate with her. My husband has struggled finding work the past year and it’s been incredibly hard, so she really threw us for a loop when she fired me. Our main source of income was now gone and my husbands job didn’t pay nearly enough for us to sustain ourselves. I was livid.

A week or so ago my husband got an amazing offer out of state, being we weren’t finding work here we jumped on the opportunity largely due to the fact we’d go homeless if we stood in a high cost of living state (we live in CA). We didn’t want to leave our entire family behind but after searching for work endlessly it seemed like our only option.

Now here’s the part where I think I might be the AH. My sister hasn’t spoken to me nor I to her. Everyone knows I’m leaving expect her. I didn’t exactly plan on telling her, but my family is pushing me to let her see my baby before I leave. I don’t want to, but at the same time I feel it might not be worth the trouble avoiding her to appease my family. So, WIBTAH?

EDIT: my return date was up in the air due to the complications I had during delivery. I had lost a lot of blood and was in the hospital for 3 days, I kept getting extensions due to my slow recovery physically and mentally. She was aware of this.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FastImpress3004 on 2023-09-25 20:02:34.

We had new neighbors move in a while ago. Up until this point I had no issues with them. Young couple, no kids, large dog that barks no more or less than any other dog. About a week ago they started painting the fence between our properties. I happen to know the fence is on MY property so they had no right to paint it.

I went back and forth on whether I should say or do anything. At first I thought maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. They were only painting the side facing their lot. However as it turned out they were doing that in preparation for painting their house PINK. The rest of the houses in this neighborhood are regular house colors. Grey. white. Tan. It looks god awful.

This just didn’t sit well with me so I went over and told them that the fence they painted is actually MY fence on MY property. They were slack jawed and mumbled “ok” and so I said you’re going to fix it, right? They said they “didn’t know how” and asked if it was “really that big a deal.” I told them fine, why not just let me come onto THEIR property and mess around with THEIR things?

Then they asked me why I didn’t say something before they were finished and I told them that it isn’t my job to do their research for them. That they should have known better when they got the land survey done at inspection. They said they “waived inspection” which again, it’s not my fault.

They asked how they could fix this and keep the fence the color they’d chosen as it would mean one side of the fence wouldn’t match the others. I said tough shit, it’s not my problem. I told them that I would be kind and give them the weekend to fix the fence. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SuccessfulReply1987 on 2023-09-25 23:31:07.

My brother and I are not close. Never was, and after what happened on his wedding, probably never will. I'm not too torn up about it, though. In my opinion, he is a spoiled, entitled man-child, and my life is better the further away we are from each other. Side note, this isn't his first marriage. It's his third. He turned 30 last August. His car has been with him longer than either of his ex-wives.

He married my newest SIL two weeks ago. They just came back from honeymoon. The first thing they did after returning is to call me and berate me for bringing my roommate as my plus one. They didn't say anything back then because they didn't want to make a fuss at their own wedding, but they think it's super inconsiderate of me to bring "a stranger" (I've known my roommate since before my brother's first marriage) to their wedding, and if I don't have a long-term partner, I shouldn't have brought a plus one at all.

Like I said, I don't like my brother all that much to begin with, so I didn't bother arguing with him, as hearing him speak already gave me migraine. I simply said "you're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'll keep that in mind and do better on your next wedding." I then hung up and has been ignoring my brothers' calls and texts ever since.

My roommate thinks it's absolutely hilarious, and so do our friends. However, most of my family has been spam calling me as well (I don't pick up either) so my guess is they don't find my respond as funny. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/False-Spirit722 on 2023-09-25 23:11:22.

I 50F have a son 23M who is expecting a child with a young lady 18F. The issue is, he does not know the young lady very well and doesn’t have much interest in speaking to her at the moment, so we have a paternity test scheduled pretty soon so we can know before the baby is born.

Although my son is not interested in speaking to her, I am sure he will make a great father as he will warm up to the reality as time goes by. I met this young lady only a few weeks ago, she is 3 months along.

She has had no interest in getting prenatal care, so I’ve scheduled an appointment for her, I offered her a ride and she made an excuse as to why she couldn’t go. I then called her yesterday and she said she was having pain, so I insisted she go to the hospital. She didn’t want to go, and said it was no longer bothering her and she didn’t want to go without my son however I was already on the way and when I came, she wouldn’t come outside so I left, upset.

Today, she sent me a video of a sonogram and I said to her “Congrats! Had you texted that you were going to a doctor or whatever you have going on someone would not have minded being there for you! It’s questionable how you are showing this today when we were only trying to help you yesterday to make sure that you and the baby were ok.”

She felt disrespected and took it that I was saying she was lying about being pregnant, however I don’t care how she takes it because I didn’t call her a liar, and I don’t know if she is. Aita for the way I approached her? I feel my message was quite polite, don’t see how i insinuated she was lying and feel she just took it the wrong way.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Forsaken_Fruit_9858 on 2023-09-25 22:35:34.

So I (23F) recently hung out with my boyfriend Jason (25M) and some of his friends from college: Hana (25F), Mike (25M), and Rickie (26M). For some additional context, Rickie and Hana began dating shortly after college, and Hana has Celiac Disease. Also, I recently moved in with Jason, resulting in me needing to find a new job.

While we were all hanging out, Jason's friends asked some questions to get to know me, and upon learning I had to move so far that I needed to change jobs, they asked where I was applying. I mentioned a cafe/bakery that's gotten in touch with me so far and that I have an upcoming interview. I said I really loved the atmosphere as a customer, and I want to work for someplace that is local rather than a chain and prioritizes quality, which this place definitely does. She scoffed and said it's a bad business and I should probably just forego the interview since it's not a company worth working for. Rickie agreed, calling it a shit place. I asked what was wrong, fearing there were some serious problems I didn't know about, only for Hana to complain that there were no Gluten Free food options. This confused me, which I expressed, asking why she expected GF option at a bread bakery. She said "what, just because they sell bread they can't put in a little extra effort to cater to gluten intolerant customers?"

This might be where I fucked up. I responded that, yes, that's the case. What I didn't say, but assumed went without saying, was that majority of the facility is literally used to make various breads/rolls/etc and other flour-inclusive pastries, and the remainder of the facility is used to process, prepare, handle, or advertise the sale of these products. Literally their whole thing is that they bake their own breads, have their own recipes, everything is from scratch and the wheat for the flour is provided by a family-owned wheat farm. Everything they sell is or involves their house-made bread products and other baked goods except for the coffee, tea, and maybe their soups? But I also don't know if they use flour to thicken those, and even if they don't, by nature of the operations in the cafe/bakery, there's flour everywhere. It honestly felt like hearing someone with a peanut allergy complain about the offerings at a nut store or something. It made zero sense to me.

Apparently, the was I responded really offended Hana. She spluttered something about me being an asshole who thinks people with dietary needs should just suck it up, get sick, or die, then grabbed Rickie's arm and pulled him out of the restaurant. Things have been awkward to hostile since then; my boyfriend agrees with me, but says I could've handled it better pr just shut my mouth entirely, Mike has been staying out of it, Rickie is pissed that I "insulted his girlfriend", and Hana has been finding me on social media and harassing me in comment sections and my DMs. Was I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Icy-Violinist8579 on 2023-09-25 22:15:56.

I (26F) rent a house with my roommate, Jane (27F). We’ve lived here about 8 months.

I came into the arrangement with my cat, Fievel. About 4 months ago, Jane approached me about adopting a dog. I agreed and she brought home a small dog, Max.

I work from home and Jane works in an office so she would frequently text me to ask if I could let Max out or give him dinner if she was going to be late and I never had a problem with this.

A couple weeks ago, I was at my boyfriend’s over the weekend. I was planning on coming home but I saw on the news that there was a bad accident on the highway and it was super backed up so I texted Jane to ask if she could take care of Fievel for the night (basically just give him dinner) and I’d be home in the morning. She said no.

I figured that meant she wasn’t home so I left and sat in traffic for nearly 2 hours and when I arrived home, she was just sitting on the couch. I asked why she couldn’t just give him a can of food if she was home when I take care of her dog all the time and she said, “well you can say no. I never agreed to take care of your cat.”

So I started saying no. Max peed on her clothes every day for a week because I wouldn’t let him out when she asked and now she has to bring him to doggy daycare every day which is way more expensive than I thought it was.

She’s really upset with me because it’s $100s per month that she doesn’t have and is telling me she’ll feed my cat whenever I ask now if I’ll just let Max out during the day but I’m still salty that she made the problem in the first place so I’m fine seeing her waste her money.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwra_2929 on 2023-09-25 21:30:51.

My partner and I had made plans to go to a nice restaurant in town. I'd booked us the table and we were really looking forward to it. My gf then messages me and asks if she can invite her friend. I say no since it's just meant to be us going out. She doesn't let it go and invites her friend anyway and just tells me it'll still be a good night.

I ask her why she even bothered asking me if she was going to ignore me anyway. My gf was planning to drive and we'd be leaving from our apartment and picking her friend up. My gf mentioned that I'd have to get into the back of the car. I told her no and that I'd be in the car before her friend and that her friend shouldn't be going anyway. My gf just said she couldn't ask her friend to sit in the back after she'dinvited her to join us.

She then mentioned that she was paying for her friends meal. I asked if she was paying for my meal aswell and she said no because it would cost too much. I just pointed out that in the 2 years we've been together I don't actually think she's bought me a meal once when we've been out yet she's offering to buy her friends food on a night she wasn't even invited on.

My gf accused me of making her feel bad but I just pointed out it seems like she values her friend a lot more than she does me but she just said I was starting arguments over nothing. AITA for not wanting her friend at the meal?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/hanriettee on 2023-09-25 20:32:55.

My brother and SIL are having a baby. Everyone is rather happy and are talking about it etc. So the other day I was talking with my aunt about it and she mentioned christening and then asked me when I would do confirmation. For those who don't know - confirmation is like adult baptism, where for christians is the affirmation of your belief in God. In my country almost everyone has it, because it is a part of religion class in secondary school. But I did not attend the class so I do not have confirmation.

I never believed in God, even when I was a child and I was very vocal about it to my father. He stopped trying to force the belief on me after the first communion and it wasn't even a fight to get him to sign me an excuse from the religion class for the rest of my education. Both grandmothers and grandfathers did not know about it. I never mentioned it and whenever the topic came I just didn't participate even when I knew they were trying to bait me. I also figured that I don't have to go to church by the age of 11, because they let me go alone. So every Sunday I was going on a walk.

I think my atheism came out at the time everyone my age was supposed to get confirmation. Nobody commented on it, but I think that they noticed that I didn't invite anyone to the ceremony. And suddenly after that everyone stopped trying to talk about God around me.

But some days ago my aunt asked me when I was going to confirm, because this is my first nephew/niece and I have to be a godmother. I thought that she was joking, but she told me that I can pay a priest to get it in a week. I told her that I am not going to do that as this is against not only my views but also I think that this is disrespectful to people who actually believe in God. She told me that it's unfair to my brother and I always have to be vocal about my atheism etc., but I successfully changed the topic.

The thing is - I never said anything. I always avoid the topic while I feel that my family tries to bait and force me on their beliefs. Also I think that they are hypocrites, because only my maternal grandparents are regularly going to church. I don't understand why they whould bully me into faith when they should be happy for my brother and SIL baby. And I say they, because I have a feeling that this topic won't end with my aunt.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alwaysfiending1 on 2023-09-25 20:15:54.

I went out of town a couple hours away to help a friend move and hang out for the night because it was his last weekend in the same state. When I got back the next morning my girlfriend and I were talking about our days and she said she went out to a bar for drinks with a male friend that had just got out of a relationship. She said it was basically him venting to her about his ex girlfriend who had been cheating on him. It caught me off guard and made me upset that she would go out with another guy and not mention it to me beforehand. I told her I’d prefer she didn’t go out with another guy for drinks, especially if I was out of town. She said that she didn’t think I would think anything of it and didn’t say anything for about 30 minutes after I told her I’d prefer she didn’t go out with another guy for drinks by herself because she was scared I was mad at her. Her reaction and the whole situation made me feel uncomfortable and I’m wondering am I being possessive? We’ve been dating for 11 months and nothing like this has happened before. She has been friends with the guy for about 6-7 years and says that she has never seen him as anything but a friend and before we were dating she said she would go out with him by herself all the time. Am I being an asshole for saying I don’t want her to go out for drinks with a male friend by herself?

My response after reading comments. After reading responses I am aware I reacted poorly and will apologize. We have never had a disagreement before this and I guess the situation made me feel insecure.

Scared is the the wrong word for why she didn’t say much when I said that to her. I adore her and I have never said anything like this before so I think the reason she didn’t say much is because it caught her off guard.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Express-Owl4428 on 2023-09-25 18:10:58.

My sister got married recently and all of her events have been miserable for me. She’s the “bride” so I felt as if I couldn’t say anything. She snapped and freaked out at me over every little thing. I would stay quiet, bow my head and when it got bad I’d eventually walk away and ignore her (to avoid any other issues). She asked me to be the maid of honor, but seemed to hate me the entire day. She would snap at me, roll her eyes at me and then when someone else would come over she’d be so extremely nice smiling, hugging them. None of her friends help clean up, go to every event and aren’t there when things get “tough”. I take off work and have spent thousands of dollars on her. A family member overheard her friends say in the bathroom they were there for the “free alcohol”. I don’t think her friends are that kind and that is where she is getting this sour behavior from. I even overheard her talking down upon me at the wedding. My parents don’t know how bad it gets. I know nothing would happen if I said anything to them. AITA if I wanted to confront her? If so, how do I confront her for how miserable she treats me? I do regret saying yes to be her maid of honor.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alarmed_Ad_9237 on 2023-09-25 17:01:58.

My wife and I decided a few years ago that we wanted to live a great life and not struggle. We moved our family south of the border. We have a large, older house, our kids attend a private school where they receive an education that is better than they were getting in the public schools they were attending. I do not have to do any snow shoveling or mowing. We have a housekeeper so my wife and I can concentrate on work and our kids. All in all it has worked out well for us.

The one small issue that we have not dealt with yet is our septic. It is on the list. It will cost a fair bit to upgrade the plumbing and the septic tank so that we can flush toilet paper. I could not get used to the idea of wiping and then putting the toilet paper in the garbage can by the toilet. So I invested about $300 and installed wand style bidets on all the toilets. It is like a handheld shower head that you use to spray water at you backside until it is clean. Then you can use a small amount of toilet paper to dry yourself. None of us have a problem putting damp toilet paper in the garbage. And let me tell you my butthole has never been cleaner.

Our home also has a guest suite. We often host visitors. We make sure we explain about the plumbing and no one has any problems. Except for my parents. They think that it is gross. Twice they have visited and twice they have clogged the plumbing. They came again this summer and I wasn't having it. I removed the toilet paper from the restrooms that they would have access to. I replaced it with some hand towels that they could use to dry themselves with after they did their business.

My dad lost it. He started screaming from the bathroom that he needed toilet paper. I told him what to do through the door. He refused. I was not going to put up with his figurative or literal shit any more so I walked away. He eventually came out wearing only one sock. He and my mom packed up and left. They went to stay at a local hotel that has modern plumbing. It meant they had to be up early if they wanted to have breakfast with the kids. And that they could not stay very late drinking wine and enjoying the sunsets and such with us. And they spent a bunch of money on the hotel.

My wife and I just came up for a family wedding and my parents were telling everyone how poorly I treated them and that I made their stay so uncomfortable they had to waste money staying at a hotel when I have guest quarters. I mostly kept my mouth shut until other people started telling me I was an asshole for doing this. So I told them the whole story. Including my dad wiping his ass with a sock. It all became a hilarious story at the wedding and my dad is now saying I made him look like a fool.

I just think he could have tried to do as I requested to begin with. My mom says I did not need to take the toilet paper away but I trusted them twice.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GullibleGuava5373 on 2023-09-25 16:20:45.

A few months ago, I (25f) booked an airbnb for a trip i was taking with my family. Some plans changed, and I ended up having to cancel the airbnb, and instead of giving me a refund, they gave me a $200 credit for my next booking.

Anyway, I am going on a trip with my friends next month and I booked the airbnb that we will be staying at. I am the planner of my friend group, so I usually am the one to always book the places.

The entire thing wound up being a little over $600 in total. There are 10 of us going, so I rounded down and asked everyone to pay me back $60 for it. I always send the receipt to them. Some of the people saw that I applied the $200 credit I got, and asked why they had to pay $60 instead of just $40. I explained that the credit wasn't something I got for free, but was actually my money from a previous booking. Some of them are upset and feels like I'm just trying to hustle them out of money, and the others understand my position. AITA for making them pay for the full amount even though I had some credit?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/babysittingcollege on 2023-09-25 19:45:16.

I (19) just had my nephew (5) for a week while my sister and BIL took care of a family emergency. It was very last minute. They called and asked if I could keep him and he was at my apartment an hour and a half later (they’re an hour away from me).

I’m a full time college student and I work at a daycare part time. I couldn’t drive him to his school and pick him up because of the distance so I emailed all of my professors and my boss and asked if he could come to class/work with me. They were all ok with it.

When I took him to class he had an iPad and headphones, a little Lego set, and coloring books and crayons. He sat quietly in the back of class every day. He was also great at my work.

The problem is, now I have people in a few of my classes upset that I brought him. They’re saying it’s distracting and I should’ve gotten a babysitter instead of taking him with me.

None of my professors had a problem with it. Some even complimented me on how well behaved he was but I wanted to know if I was the asshole.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/OlXThrowaway74 on 2023-09-25 17:36:57.

My 23F and my friend 26F lets call her sarah she has medical issues, hypothyroidism and PCOS to be specific and as a result she’s morbidly obese and has really bad acne so.

Today we were on girls night and the topic of boyfriends popped up and everyone in our group has a boyfriend except sarah.

So sarah started complaining about being lonely and her inability to find a partner and i asked her what are her standards in a guy?

She said i want him rich,handsome,tall and smart literally all the best qualities that only you can find in movies.

I told her girl you’re not a 10 and probably has not much to offer yet you’re looking for a guy all of those? You’re basically setting yourself for failure you need to find someone who is normal.

Then she said that she’s feeling unwell and wants to go home, when she left a mutual friend told me i’m an AH for being this harsh however i think i was just being helpful to her.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MiraTell on 2023-09-25 17:18:38.

I (47F) am a medical professional and have been for more than 20 years, so I am completely desensitized to anything body related and am having a hard time judging if I was TA or not.

I was recently at a dinner party with a group of friends, a couple of which are in the medical field, but most aren't. After the meal, we were no longer at the table, but just drinking some wine and talking in pairs or groups. I was sitting next to my friend who is also a medical professional and the two of us were having a conversation, but there were other people within earshot.

I had recently been made aware of a case that I won't reveal the details of, in case I traumatize more people, but just for context it involved a man who went in for surgery on his shoulder, and due to the incompetence or negligence of a nurse received severe damage to his penis.

I was recounting this case to my friend - using clinical language and we were mostly focusing on how on earth it could have happened, and gone unnoticed for as long as it did. I didn't notice that a couple of men apparently listened in to the story. The next day a got a call from the wife of one of these men, telling me I'd traumatized her husband and literally given him nightmares.

So now I need non medical people to way in - AITA for talking about a horror story where it was possible to be overheard, or is it his own fault for listening in to a conversation that didn't concern him?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/notadaycareaita on 2023-09-25 16:44:46.

My wife (37F) and I (39M) have been married for 13 years and have 3 kids (11, 8, & 6). Both my wife and I work full-time. I work a standard M-F schedule, but my wife's job regularly requires her to work on weekends, anywhere from 1-3 Saturdays a month. She will take days off during the week to compensate for this.

It can be stressful for me because our kids are all in activities now and of course they are always on weekends. So I'm the one running them all over to practices, games, shows, etc. Or I'm the one coordinating carpools with other parents. It can be exhausting.

About 6 months ago, a new family moved in a few houses down the street from us. They have 3 kids about the same ages as ours. We've met the parents a handful of times, but we're not going to be friends with them. They aren't married (not judging, just saying) and the BF is not the father of the kids. The mom is nice and sweet, but the guy...not so much.

The kids spend a lot of time outside roaming the neighborhood (can't say I blame them, I wouldn't want to be in a house with that guy either). If they see our kids outside, they will stop by and play together. But it's always at our house, they never go play at their house. Again, can't blame them and I don't really want my kids going there anyway.

But since Sundays are pretty much my only day of the week to get any free time, I like to relax on those days if I can. My wife had to work this past Saturday and all 3 kids had activities going on, so I was running around all day. That night, I told my wife I would like a chance to relax for a bit on Sunday and asked if she could take the kids out of the house for a few hours so I could just chill. She had no problem with this.

But Sunday rolls around and instead of my wife taking the kids somewhere, the neighbor kids ended up at our house somehow. I really just wanted a few quiet hours at home, but that wasn't going to happen. So, I told my wife I was going somewhere to watch a football game and would be home later.

While I was out, my wife kept texting me about coming home because the kids were driving her nuts. I told her to send the neighbor kids home and do something with our kids, but she feels bad kicking the kids out. I told her we aren't a daycare and the neighbor kids aren't our responsibility. She asked me to come home, but I told her I needed more time to relax.

I was gone for about 4-5 hours and when I got home, my wife was not happy. She was mad that I told her I was leaving instead of asking if it was OK. She was mad that I left knowing that there were 6 kids at our house. She was mad that she didn't get a break that weekend even though she had taken Thursday off and had the whole day by herself.

I told her that she was the one who changed the plans for Sunday and if she had just taken the kids out of the house like she said she would, she wouldn't have been stuck watching 6 kids. She said I was a jerk for not staying to help.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Beautiful-Brother456 on 2023-09-25 16:42:12.

My first husband and I divorced amicably about 10 years ago. I have since remarried and have two sons (14, 8). When I divorced my first husband I made it clear that I was no longer interested in coparenting his daughter (Lindsey, 23). Lindsey's mother wasn't in the picture, but I was only in her life for a few years at that point so it was not like she was losing a mother figure. I still talk to her occasionally and send her birthday gifts here and there. Lindsey is a bit of a wild child. She has had some problems with the law and overall is unmotivated to do anything meaningful with her life. My ex and Lindsey, as of recently, are no longer on speaking terms. Lindsey came to me because I guess she had no where else to go. She asked if she could stay with me for a while until she was back on her feet. I ended up saying yes, because I couldn't imagine her surviving in the alternative.

That was 2 months ago. Lindsey still hasn't moved out or found a job but she does do chores around the house and help the kids with their homework. My kids have started to connect with Lindsey a bit. My husband however, is not exactly okay with her presence. A few days ago he asked me why she was still here. I informed him once again of her situation but he did not seem to care. He told me he did not want a "criminal" around his influential children. Lindsey has had a few addictions but I'm sure that she wouldn't do it in front of the kids. I tried to explain to my husband about second chances but he wasn't having it. He called me a doormat and said he wanted Lindsey out of the house in the next 2 weeks. Additionally, my ex is not exactly happy about Lindsey staying with me. He thinks that I am ruining her by not letting her learn life lessons. My husband is weaponizing this and telling me that I should stop telling other people how to parent.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MSI_Reviews on 2023-09-25 16:40:13.

To keep it short and simple i went down to the graveyard my grandpa is buried at yesterday to clean up his grave. When i got to my gramps grave someone had already tidied it up so i thought id clean up the grave most in need of it. I found the grave of a 4 year old covered in leaves and weeds and cleaned it up, i spent about an hour on it and when i was right about done an older couple came up to me and asked what i was doing. I told them i was cleaning up a grave because someone had done it for my grandpa. As soon as i it was because my grandpa grave had been cleaned up they started talking about how i didnt know whether the weeds and dead leaves scattered around the grave was on purpose or not and they told me to leave. I kept working as they talked smack and then i drove off. So im pretty sure im not but am i the asshole

Edit since i think theres some confusion about what i did to the grave: i removed dead leaves, some thinly sprewn about wild grass and a weed called a “mælkebøtte” in danish. The child was buried 37 years ago and in denmark you can pay for 30 years at a time with the care of the grave, most likely the family paid the 30 years and then the grave was left unattended

Edit 2: pictures for context on my profile

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Senior_Procedure1766 on 2023-09-25 15:43:42.

I am a stay at home dad mostly cause my work doesn't need me to work more than a few hours a week to earn a living. So I used to pack food for my wife and daughter since I usually cooked large amounts of food for myself as meal prep for the week and made differently sized portions for each of.

I usually cook something low calorie since Its what I need to eat to achieve my goals at the gym but my wife has been pestering me to cook some more "unhealthy". I tried cooking 2 separate things one for myself and my daughter and one for her. I realised after a week that it was just unsustainable to cook 6 separate meals every day while doing the rest of the household chores and still having time left over to go to the gym and enjoy my hobbies.

I told my wife if she wanted to eat something different than us she could go cook for herself or go eat out. She complained that it was unfair that i wouldn't cook for her even though I stayed home all day. I told if she wanted me to cook for her every day she could pick up some chores around the house so that I would have the time to do it. So AITA

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dry-Use8680 on 2023-09-25 15:45:38.

I 39F and my husband 38M had some of my relatives over a couple of weekends ago. Of the family that was over were two 16 year old male cousins. My husband has a fully decked out "man cave" with arcades, a pool table that flips into an air hockey table/ ping pong table. He allowed the boys to initially go upstairs and only play on his PS5. We have rules for all of the house and that's just respect our stuff and return it how you found it. The boys decided after an hour of playing ps5 they wanted to play ping pong. My husband is not confrontational but asked they be careful don't mess up anything. Then the boys removed the ping pong table and began playing pool. We hear them screaming and having fun and one of them we will call "A" yells "I hit that ball so hard that it popped over another". 30 minutes later I hear the air hockey table on and the boys are playing "A" being very rambunctious to the point several members had to tell him to calm down. I was cooking at the time but briefly went upstairs and told both they could have fun but chill out and not play aggressively. Both boys agree and continue to play air hockey. After they leave my husband notices huge scratches across the air hockey table and a huge scratch and dent in the pool table. I ask both "A" and "B" separately what happened. "B" stated he didn't want to snitch but that he didn't scratch up either table. "A" comes over later and after lying admits that he scratched the air hockey table by playing with the mallet or striker upside down. Mallets have felt on the bottom to avoid scratching, "A" used the plastic knob to play. The entire side of the air hockey table has about 40 deep scratches. I showed "A" the pool table and he apologized for roughhousing. I told him he could repay me via help with yard work and gardening bi-weekly until the end of the year. My lawn is maintained so it's really just time for us to talk, garden and make sure all is well in his world. I didn't expect money from him or his parents just ownership of responsibility.

Well, his mom has changed her tune and said while her son "A" admits to the damage am I sure it wasn't really "B". She stated he has ADD and can't be held responsible like other kids because he doesn't know better and asked for proof of scratches and invoices to repair. She also said gardening twice a month until the end of the year is too harsh. We live in a warm state even in Dec it's like 65 degrees.

I told "A" mom that if she feels her son helping garden is too much then I'll send her the invoice for repairs and thanked her for taking financial responsibility.

So, AITA for establishing a payment via gardening as a form of payback for a 16 year old who likely caused hundreds of dollars in repairs?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway2390754 on 2023-09-25 13:16:17.

I'm 16 and I've known I'm gay since I was 12 I haven't told anyone because I just don't really want to and I was kinda scared about their reactions lol.

Last week I got home and my parents started screaming at me saying I was selfish and disgusting, and I should have told them ages ago instead of making them think I'm straight.

They found out because my uncle saw me kissing a guy in an alleyway and he told my whole family because that's a completely normal thing to do apparently and now half of them won't talk to me and the other half are blowing up my phone basically telling me I'm a huge asshole.

My dad said I really upset my mom because she expected me to get married and have kids and I got her and everyone else's hopes up.

Am I the asshole? My whole family hates me at the moment and I literally don't know what to do I've said sorry to all of them but they're still super angry :/