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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Purple_Beach2080 on 2023-09-16 23:51:59.

My (16F) stepsister, Jenna (16F), has a three month old son. My mom watches him all day while she’s at school but Jenna has to stay home pretty much all the time when she’s not at school because my mom won’t watch him more than she has to. I’ve had to take care of him a lot. I am taking very rigorous classes and am involved in a lot of extracurriculars so I have very little free time.

Most days I don’t get home until 6 and then Jenna asks me to watch him for a bit before dinner so I usually don’t get to start doing my homework until after dinner at like eight. I don’t think I’ve gotten more than five hours of sleep on a school night in weeks. When I do have time to sleep, I get woken up every few hours by a crying baby. I’m on track to be valedictorian and my grades are suffering because of Jenna’s kid.

My dad never found the milk so there’s nowhere else I can go. I’m stuck here. I decided I’m done watching her baby so now I just go to the library or a friend’s house after school and don’t come home until 9. On weekends I leave the house as early as possible and come home at night. Jenna said that she needs me to stay at home a little more because she can’t watch a baby without any help all day. I told her that she chose to have that kid and he’s her responsibility.

She said that her mental health is suffering because she can’t go out much since I stopped watching him and I need to help her because we’re sisters. I said that I don’t give a f*ck about her and her baby and if she doesn’t want to watch him then she can get a job to pay for a babysitter. She’s mad at me now and she told my mom. My mom said she can’t make me do anything but she’s disappointed that I’m so selfish and she can’t believe that she raised an uncaring brat like me. AITA?

EDIT: The baby’s dad’s parents pay child support but they don’t want to be in his life. The dad goes to another school so they have pretty much zero contact. We live in California so abortion is easy to access but Jenna chose not to abort even though her parents encouraged her to.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/artwhizinthesnow on 2023-09-16 20:09:44.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16ei1cp/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_dad\_that\_hes\_the\_reason\_my/

It's been a week and I was good news and bad news.

Good news is my gf has a family of angels. I called my gf’s brothers, who I’m very close to, let’s called them Brother A and Brother B, and asked if we could stay with them until we find a more permanent place to stay. They insisted that we stayed free of charge as long as we contributed to the grocery bill and kept the place clean. Brother B is a professional chef, while Brother A is in university for business, and is likely to have their dad’s family business past down to him. They had a spare room for us to sleep in, and Brother B even gave us his bed to sleep in, while he sleeps on an air mattress, because “I don’t get any b*tches.”

Anyways, Brother A and B invited their parents over, because their parents, especially their dad, can’t resist a free meal from their professional chef son. Brother B made a delicious dinner. When we were finished, Brother A and my gf took the dishes into the kitchen to help Brother B clean up, and my gf said before she left, “Daddy, he has something important to talk to you about.”

I was left alone at the table with her parents and I was tomato red. I mustarded up an apology and explained that I never told my dad any of that stuff and I don’t know how my dad knows about it, and that I would never share to anyone, because that stays between my gf and I. I also emphasized that his daughter is the love of my life and I love her more than anyone and anything in the world, and that I have immense respect for him. He said nothing and just stared at me for a good minute, before shouting at Brother A to bring him some beers. He opened two beer for himself and I, his wife doesn’t drink, and clinked bottles with me. He explained that he forgives me and that he believes me. He added that he thinks my dad is a weirdo, and that they used to go out for drinks or fishing all the time, but now he’s stopped, to avoid hearing about his daughter’s personal life. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me that he trusts that his daughter chose the right man, which made me want to cry.

Bad news is my parents are getting a divorce. When I left, I sat my parents down and explained to them why I was leaving. My mom hugged me and cried, while my dad said and did nothing. My gf and I left right away. Turns out my dad didn’t take it well and my parents starting fighting a lot. Now, my mom is divorcing my dad. I especially feel bad for my mom, because this was her second marriage, and the longer one, and I feel like it might discourage my mom from finding love again.

TL;DR, I fixed my relationship with my gf’s dad, but I unintentionally ruined my parents’ marriage.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Glittering_Union_825 on 2023-09-16 20:44:15.

I(F46) have 6 older brothers. Our parents were trying for a girl but they couldn't really afford 7 kids and I guess after they had us they figured having so many kids is too much to handle and let my older siblings raise us. Everyone(except me) were parentified so much that they all decided to stay childfree and got vasectomy to make sure of that. I am child free too.

Only one of my brothers has a daughter(14F). She is and will always be our only niece so naturally we all love her very much and we spoil her.

The problem is the same brother remarried recently and his wife has a 16yo son. This was unexpected considering even his daughter was an accident so none of us really expected him to marry a woman who has a child.

The issue is we all love spending all of our money to go to expensive vacations and any money that we have left gets spent on my niece. A few months ago was her birthday and the cheapest gift she received cost 400 dollars. As I said we all enjoy spoiling her.

A few days ago was the stepson's birthday and we all bought nice gifts costing approximately 50 dollars each.

My SIL is mad because we bought more expensive gifts for my niece but I don't know what else she expects. The only way we could afford better gifts was by using our vacation money or by changing the way we treat our niece, none of which we are willing to do

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Torosta on 2023-09-16 18:29:24.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last December. After a bunch of tests, the decision I chose was to have a double mastectomy with direct to implant reconstruction. My husband was all set to be my caregiver for the weeks that followed my surgery, yet ended up hurting his back the day before. He suggested that I call my mom and ask her to come (she lives in another city, about 6 hours away).

Ensue panic on my part.

Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue but the kicker here is that my mom was also diagnosed with breast cancer in January of this year. She is 70 years old and has completed radiation but her fatigue is strong.

My MIL lives in the same city as my mom and the original intention was (before my husband hurt his back) that she was going to meet my husband halfway between our city and her city to pick up our daughter and take to her for the week. This way my daughter wouldn’t have to see me sore after surgery and so that my husband could devote his time to caring for me.

Now that my husband hurt his back, I called my mom, who then called my MIL to tell her the situation. My MIL offered to drive my mom all the way here so she could care for me and then my MIL would help my husband with his back and watch our daughter (she’s 8).

Well, she drives here with my mom and I’m finally relieved because I was really nervous that I was going to need to cancel my surgery if I couldn’t get someone to come help me. Especially since my surgery was the following day.

Suffice to say, that day before I was a complete wreck. I was scared for my surgery and I was also worried because my daughter was now going to be home. I just didn’t want her to be scared or worried about me. My MIL and mom arrived fairly late, and I had the be at the hospital at 6am so I went to bed.

I get up next day, husband drives my mom and I to the hospital and I have my surgery. It’s outpatient so I went home later same day and found out my MIL had left. Apparently she ‘thought it was best to leave’ because I had not acknowledged her nor thanked her for bringing my mom — and I made her feel like a ‘cab driver’. So this left my mom to care for me, but no one to watch daughter and help my husband. She was also my mom’s ride home.

I was livid at her and I feel like our relationship is irreparably broken. My husband was not too upset about any of this.

AITA for not immediately thanking her or acknowledging her good deed? Really need some insight!

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tuna_Sub23 on 2023-09-16 21:07:56.

First off, sorry for formatting as I’m on mobile.

So a little backstory before we get to the main issue, my fiancé (F 29) and I (M 34) have been engaged for a little over 2 years and are getting married next month. Combined we make about 170k a year. We decided on a place that is perfect for us to get married at and never expected anyone to help because, 1 we chose a place that fits our budget and 2, it’s ultimately our day and what we want so we planned on paying for it ourselves. Now my fiancés parents make more then my family does.

My fiancés parents offered to help in any way they can and have paid for stuff without us even asking. They paid for our bridal shower, which included the gifts, the food, and the rental spot. They also paid for her dress which was about 1k. My parents volunteered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and the dessert. We chose a place for the dessert and gave my parents a price. We chose to do cupcakes and just a little 2 tier cake from a popular bakery called everything bundt cakes. Well when we went to place the order we found out the “bundtinis” are really small and decided maybe we should double the order. I called my mom and she confirmed it was ok even though the price was doubled. I asked her if she was sure because they were planning a trip to Mexico at the time and my dad was working a second job to be able to afford it. I told my mom I don’t care if she wanted to do something else because of the price change but she reassured me it was fine. So we placed the order and thought that was that.

Now on to the issue, a few days after we placed our order I get a text from my sister saying we need to talk. So I texted back asking what was up. She goes on this huge rant saying I need to stick up for my parents because they work so hard for what they have and me deciding to double the dessert order what’s bullshit. I tried explaining to her that our parents agreed to it and reassured me it was fine. It wasn’t like I told my parents this is what we are doing and you don’t have a choice. My sister started calling my fiancé a cry baby and me and ungrateful bitch. I told her if she kept it up she will be uninvited to our wedding because I will not put up with the way she is talking to us. She said fine take me out because I’m done with you and you won’t see your niece ever again. There was a lot more choice words that were said that I won’t get in to but my fiancé was upset and crying and I won’t stand for that. I have completely cut my sister off and have not talked to her since. I didn’t have a conversation with my dad and a lot of tears were shed between us. I haven’t talked to my mom because she makes excuse after excuse for my sister as to why she acts the way she does. I have also went low contact with her because I don’t wanna start any more drama.

So I ask if I’m the asshole for going NC with my sister even though she’s family?

Edit: I guess I should clarify that my dad DID NOT pick up a second job just for this wedding. He’s been working a second job for a while now on the weekends just for extra money for anything he wants to do. My mom is a home body and her number 1 excuse for not doing anything is money. They did end up going on vacation and had a wonderful time, but my dad uses this money for baseball games, high end whiskey he likes to drink, gas for his motorcycle rides. Stuff like that

Edit #2 a lot of you are saying my dad took a second job to make ends meet which isn’t the case. He’s had a second job on the weekends driving a limo for extra money period. He didn’t take a second job to pay for desserts for a wedding.

Edit #3 and may be my final edit. I offered to pay the difference of the dessert or pay for the rehearsal dinner they also offered to pay for to offset the cost. The desserts we chose were the cheapest option we found that didn’t include a professional baker. I’ve also told my parents I don’t care about the money but they, once again, reassured me it was fine after a lengthy phone call.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/swappedkids on 2023-09-16 20:12:57.

Our family has an interesting story. My bio-mother's side and bio-father's side have 2 marriages between the families. One of them is our bio-parents and one of them is between my bio mom's brother(55) and my bio dad's sister(54). My bio mom Linda and bio dad Chris actually have met in my uncle's and aunt's engagement dinner when both of them were 16.

Linda and Chris are still complete wrecks. My bio dad was the troubled one of the family whom would have problems with school or the work and my bio-mom has addiction issues since she is 14.

When they have met and started to have a relationship ,both sides of the family tried to break them up,they even sent them to different countries but they stole 50k USD from their families,managed to come together and ran away when they were 19. They got married in a 3rd world country and they had me(25M) and my twin brother when they were 21 years old. They thought we were deadweights so they left us in the hospital and went into another country. Luckily they have checked into the hospital with their passports so the hospital have reached into the embassy ,than they found my grandparents and they brought us back home and we have been raised by our uncle and aunt since(we call them mom and dad). My parents were charged with child abandonment but after 10 years of being MIA,the charges were dropped and our families also didn't try to look for them.

2 years ago,they showed up at my dad's parents house in a completely renovated look. Turns out they have finished their education,had stable jobs in the country,started to get mental health treatments and they were sober for 9 years and they have basically put themselves together.At first 6 months,they have only seen their parents in public places,than they were accepted into the houses. A year later,they have met with us when we were 24. Me and my twin brother started to have a relationship with them and we are somewhat cordial right now.

Last week,our abandonment topic was opened and Linda told it was the hardest choice they have made. I started to laugh uncontrollably after that and when they asked told them they had multiple choices to come back and they didn't and our families were right not to trust them and they would always have the eyes on them and they should accept this at this stage. My mom started to cry and they left shortly. All of the family except my brother think I am being too cruel and I should apologize but I think they had to hear the unfiltered truth. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BestRevolution604 on 2023-09-16 20:11:56.

I (50,male) have two sons (28 and 26) and a daughter (21).

Growing up, my sons didn’t like each other very much and were in constant competition and rivalry. It was not like they were constantly fighting or something like that, they just didn’t enjoy each others company.

However, this constellation turned out to be a jackpot for my daughter. Both of my boys showered her with all their love and attention. They doted on her, spoiled her in their own unique ways and bought her lots of stuff. Their baby sister can simply do no wrong.

My wife loved this dynamic in our family but I always felt that this wasn’t good for anyone involved. I tried more than one time to fix the relationship of my sons but failed. I also tried to make them unterstand that they do harm to their sister if they do whatever she wants with a finger snip. But wife and sons ignored me regarding this topic.

Lately my daughter is complaining a lot about her dating life. Every guy she dates seems to has some sort of deficit. Too loud, too lazy, too demanding… you get it. Yesterday we had a family dinner and she announced that she broke up with ,that last guy, I told her that if she expects a random guy to treat her like her brothers do treat her she is in for many many disappointments and a lonely life. My Wife said that this is a ridiculous take and that I should mind my own business. But I was angry at this point and pointed with the finger at my sons. ,you guys see what you did? You raised a spoiled, entitled woman and now she expects this from everyone,. I told my wife that she is equally to blame. She favored our daughter and was more than happy that the boys were at odds with each other. When accused of playing favorites my wife snapped at me and then left the room. My oldest boy called me a mayor AH and left with his siblings.

I talked a few sentences with my wife since then but not with the kids. AITA? I want my daughter to be happy but I fear she will be alone for very long if she holds every guy to the standard of her brothers. Also her mom deserved those words.

Edit: What is this comment section? Do you guys know the meaning of the word spoiled?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Muted_Dream_8728 on 2023-09-16 18:23:11.

I am (34F) and husband is (35M). We have been married for 3 years.

Anyway, this morning we got into a disagreement. We always have coffee together first thing in the morning before we go to work, and I guess you could say it is a ritual we have both gotten in the habit of. We take turns making the coffee and a light breakfast and have managed to keep this routine up for years. Typically my husband puts s lot more fanfare into it and makes my favourite poached eggs, I'm useless in the kitchen and just make coffee, but still.

We have two types of teaspoons, one my husband prefers for tea and one I typically use. This morning all the typical teaspoons were in the dishwasher which I had forgotten to turn on the night before, so dirty. I turned it on and gave him the other type

He got upset, and although he didn't take it out on me he went upstairs and didn't touch his coffee or food. I asked him why and he said it made him feel unloved and that it was kind of a dick move because I know how much it means to him and its a really simple thing to get right

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Charming_Nature4440 on 2023-09-16 18:06:53.

AITA for being upset ?

My husband and I have a 5 year old daughter. She’s been sick lately (bad cold ) and yesterday before bed I asked my husband to turn off his white noise machine (which is basically a really loud fan in our bedroom) so that I would be able to listen for our daughter through the night in case she needs anything. (Her bedroom is right next to ours and if we leave the doors open I could hear her if she got worst). Well he didn’t like that idea and automatically said “well I’m just gonna take the fan and go sleep downstairs on the couch” I was flabbergasted because

1. How selfish to only think of his own comfort while our child is sick
2. Two people monitoring is always better than one so it didn’t even cross his mind that maybe he also needed to listen for her??
3. I worked early the next day and he would be off so he didn’t even think that maybe he should be the one to get up if she needed something ?

Anyways, he says I’m overreacting so I need t move on. AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/New-Gain2371 on 2023-09-16 19:30:23.

I (f30's) live in a house with my husband (m30's) and kids, and we're paying off our mortgage. It's a sizeable house with a back and front yard and it's in a suburban, fairly middle class neighborhood. We moved in around 3 months ago.

Our back yard has a covered patio that the previous owners had built in not that long ago, and we recently purchased some furniture for it.

Our back yard fences are quite low which hasn't been an issue for us as we don't have any pets that could escape or anything.

The problem is that our next door neighbor's son Alfie (m16) keeps climbing over the fence and sitting on our patio with his friends. I told our neighbors what was going on, they explained that the previous owners always let Alfie and his friends hang out on the patio, because they were often never home anyway. I asked that this doesn't carry on, as it's our yard and it's basic respect that he doesn't go onto our property whenever he feels like it. They seemed to understand my point and said they'd "sort it out".

Except it carried on, and Aflie and his friends have even started smoking in our yard, my kids play in that yard and I don't want them breathing in secondhand smoke. Their smoking also has left stains and smells on our furniture.

I confronted Alfie directly when I saw them smoking, and I firmly told the kids that they all they need to leave my yard. They all started giggling and Alfie called me a Karen. They did leave but not without spitting on the ground and leaving their trash everywhere.

I talked to Alfie's parents again and at this point I was furious. They said they weren't aware their son was smoking, but other than that they didn't seem surprised or apologetic or anything about their son's behavior. I had had enough and I said if I catch him and his friends on my patio again, I'm calling the cops. The dad said he'd have a talk with Alfie.

Literally 2 days later, Alfie and his friends are smoking on my patio again, and blasting music on a portable speaker. I was distraut. I asked him and his friends to leave my property twice, and I just got met with typical sparky teenager responses, and one of them even started recording me. I had lost all patience and I called the cops on a non-emergency number.

They sent out two people, who made the kids leave my yard. They spoke to the kids and confiscated their cigarettes and spoke to my neighbors, and Alfie got an official warning off of the police.

My neighbors are angry and said I majorly overreacted and that having the cops come scared their son. They said the kids were just acting like teenagers and I'm a sad no-lifer. AITA??? If I am, how could I have handled this better?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Own_Version8381 on 2023-09-16 19:07:33.

My brother has two children. Tommy (24m) and Nova (16f). Tommy and Nova are half siblings. My brother was married to Tommy's mom and they divorced when Tommy was 2. My brother met his second wife when Tommy was 7. Right before he was set to introduce Tommy and his second wife (girlfriend at the time), Tommy's mom died. They planned to wait several months before she was introduced but then she became pregnant with Nova so that had to be speeded along. They got married two days before Nova was born.

Nova has been told a lot about Tommy's mom and what happened to her. She is also aware of how old Tommy was when her mom came into his life. For many years she has held the belief that Tommy is wrong for calling her mom by her first name and not accepting her as his mom.

Tommy calls his stepmom by her name and says she's his stepmom. He also says he only has one mom.

Nova for years has been correcting Tommy or calling him out for years over this. She says he should be more grateful and treat her mom like his mom. That her mom has been way better to him than his mom ever was and he should be glad her mom wanted to be his mom. In the last year she has ruined many family moments because she brings it up.

My brother and SIL say nothing. They claim they correct her at home and have had many talks with her but she's young and defensive of her mom so doesn't get it.

She was staying with me last weekend while her parents were out of town and she was on her phone a lot and scowling. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was telling Tommy he was being shitty and should accept her mom is his mom too after all these years. She said he was mad at her for saying it and was being a little dick about it. I read some of the messages and decided enough was enough.

I told her to put down the phone and I told her she was not helping anyone. I said she has no right to bully her brother or harass him to do what SHE wants him to do. I told her she is wrong for doing those things. I pointed out to her that she is destroying her relationship with her brother and is doing more harm than good. She tried to argue but I made sure she heard it all first. I told her how she treats her brother is horrible. That yes, while she might hate to admit it, she is bullying him because she is constantly calling him names and rubbing his mom's death in his face. I told her she would hate him for doing it if she were in his shoes. I told her she is old enough to mind her own business and accept that her brother treats her mom with respect but he never has to see her as a mom.

Her first response was it is her business because her parents will never tell him. Then she said I'm being OTT because it's not bullying to call people out for being shitty and she's trying to help her family.

When she went back home my brother said I shouldn't have said anything to Nova.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Free_Farm5743 on 2023-09-16 17:29:18.

When I(21m) was younger, I was the biggest thomas the train fan you could find. As I got older, I started getting more into real-life trains, and I eventually got into model railroading. I recently started making real life takes on thomas the train characters because 1, thomas the train got me into modeling, in a roundabout way, and 2, my nephew(8m) is really big into thomas and is starting to get into model trains.

Around 6 months ago, I was making a real-life take on a character named Neville. Neville is my nephews all-time favorite character. No one makes a mass-produced Neville, so I decided to make neville for my nephew for his birthday. Neville's pretty easy to make, and I even 3d printed his face and stuck it on the front. I have fairly high standards for models I make myself but I set my standards way higher for the one I made my nephew

My nephews birthday was today, and he was so happy when he opened my gift. One of my nephews' friends' mom asked me where I got his gift from. I told her I made it, and she offered to pay me if I could make a couple of characters for her son. I accepted, and we exchanged contact info. After the party, my step brother(22m) came up to me and started accusing me of trying to one up his gift. He bought my nephew a character named Oliver. My nephew really likes Oliver, but Neville's his all-time favorite character. I tried to tell my step brother that I wasn't trying to one up him, but he wasn't listening. Then he started going off on me for "promoting my side hustle." I, again, tried to explain that I wasn't trying to one up him or trying to "promote my side hustle." The only reason I made the gift I did for my nephew is because I was making a model like it already, and it was easy to make. Long story short, he convinced my step mom that I had an ulterior motive and everyone started arguing. I feel like all of this could have been avoided if I waited on giving my gift. AITA for making my nephews birthday gift?

Editing to add, my step brother is another uncle

Also adding, I don't have a side hustle. This was the first time I made a character for someone that's not me.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Adventurous_Sun_3517 on 2023-09-16 16:36:41.

I (45F) found out that my daughter (16F) is failing her history class. she has a 22% in it. I was obviously upset so I told her that I'm limiting her screen time to 1 hour a day and I also signed her up for after school tutoring. I also said that this is only temporary and will stay like this until she gets her grades up. She then said I'm being unreasonable and she will take care of things on her own. My husband also said the same thing. Ok, I cancelled the tutoring and the phone limit. I waited a week and then found out she now has an 11%. I put the limit back on her phone and made appointments at her schools tutoring center. Now she won't talk to me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TheVoicesinurhed on 2023-09-16 16:53:46.

For context, my father-in-law has terminal brain cancer and has lived for 2.5 years since diagnosis. Over the last few months things have taken a turn for the worse and he is days away from passing. He had colostomy surgery, two brain surgeries and Can no longer process food. He’s on a useless feeding tube, can’t speak, can’t move, and let’s just say it’s all BAD.

My wife and I live near her parents (we purchased a house near them since they are elderly) and her sister lives a few hundred miles away. She’s a good person but she only comes and visits during holidays, doesn’t help with any family things and has only come see her dad a twice in the last few months. Us, we visit nearly every other day, plus whatever else they need. Like cleaning their garages, moving their houses, etc. we do this happily.

Fast forward to two days ago. The doctor was telling us that we should remove his feeding tube and the time is near. We should let him live in comfort, and stop these machines. He would have hours to days to maybe a week or more to live. They truly don’t know. Needless to say, it was CRAZY during this moment, and I was told to call the sister. I told the sister that things were dire and she should come up fast.

She was at a work conference and left it to fly to us immediately. My wife also missed a work conference this week, and I too missed several days of work for this. We all sacrificed, as we should.

This sister arrives and the mother decides that she wants to keep him on the machines longer. The family is divided on this but it’s not our call.

During this time, the sister has come to the realization that her dad may live another week or so.

While at the hospital last night, the sister started saying things like “I should only be speaking to doctors since I don’t get the proper information”, “I can have full on conversations with dad” (which is false) and kept making digs about us not making good choices, while also giving us the cold shoulder and acting as if we have more time than we do.

Apparently while I wasn’t at the hospital, the sister also handed my pregnant wife her ass about how we are irresponsable for calling her and that we made the situation out to be more dire than it was.

Are we the assholes in this instance?

Needless to say, I’m floored and want to explode on this woman but that won’t help.. to me, she’s being irrational, slightly delusional, and selfish.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Striking-Star4723 on 2023-09-16 15:29:39.

So I (16F) told my aunt (48F) that she's not my family anymore. Our family owned a big cottage and a forest near it for at least 200 years and it has Always been passed down. Currently it's owned by my father and my aunt. The cottage desperatly needed a new roof (the old one was literally falling apart at this point). So my father worked his ass off to make enough money for it. Him, me and my brother (19M) spent every. single. weekend. In the forest cutting/getting out the wood so we could sell it. We agreed with my aunt that she'll give us half the money we'll need. Well, the time came and we FINALLY got enough money. We called our aunt over and told her the amount of money we'll need - 47,000 USD (So that's 23,500 usd from her). She said that there's no way she can get her hands on that much money. My father told her that it's okay. That she can give us the money she spared. We actually did save up the full 47,000 because we thought we would use the extra money to renovate a little. She ended up giving us NOTHING. Not. a. Single. Penny... All was good until i found out that she went on 6 holidays (all international) with her 2 childern (4m, 11f) in the next 2 months and is going to Paris next week. Yesterday we met again and i was PISSED. We spent our whole summer and a year prior working our asses off. And She had the audacity to say something in the lines of "That colour could have been better" when She first saw the new roof. I lost it. I screamed something like "Oh i'm sorry you don't like it. Maybe if you gave us some of the money you promised, you'd get to choose the colour. This Is our family's legacy, but you don't even care enough to spare a few damn bucks. You're not my family anymore." I'm usually pretty collected And calm, So hearing me yell visibly scared the f outta her. She And her husband currently refuse to speak to me.

So am i the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Remarkable_Young9590 on 2023-09-16 12:40:34.

My dad was really late getting my stepmom gifts and cards for her birthday this year. He normally takes me (15m) and my half siblings (4f and 2f) to the store for us to pick these things out but it was a crazy few months for us. When we did go the card selection was not super great in the store and they had no stepmom birthday cards. My dad wanted me to either share the mom card with the girls or get my own mom one for her. I said no way and told him we had to find something else because I was not giving her a card with mom on it. He argued that there were no stepmom cards in the store. I suggested we get one online and see if we can get it the next day or try other stores. Dad tried to get the card despite my protests and I warned him I would not sign it or take part in giving the gifts if the card from me says mom.

The background is my mom died after giving birth to me and my dad raised me alone for 9 years. He met my stepmom and she's nice. She has tried to be mom and even offered to adopt me but I said no thanks. My dad wanted the adoption to happen and had a bunch of talks with me over why. I said I liked my stepmom (true at the time, didn't love her yet) but I didn't think of her as my mom and didn't think she would ever be, even though yeah I don't remember mom at all. He asked me if I could give it a trial period and I said there are no trial period adoptions. You can't always reverse those. And I know from looking up my states adoption laws and we don't reverse them here unless you were basically adopted illegally. I love my stepmom now but I still wouldn't say she's my mom because even though she still does mom stuff when I think of mom, I think of the woman in the photos and videos I have seen. I might not know her because she died when I was literally just born. But for 15 years she was the only mom I thought about. I still have a good relationship with my stepmom even though it does upset her that I rejected the adoption.

Anyway, the card fight lasted for about an hour of us walking through the store before my dad was like fine, we'll get her a generic card and you can be proud of yourself when her feelings are hurt. Fast forward to the next day and my stepmom's feelings were hurt. I wrote stepmom in the card but it wasn't on the outside. She and my dad talked in private after and she was upset and crying about the card.

After that whole moment my dad came and told me I should be ashamed of myself. He said I had hurt her feelings for no good reason and buying the mom card would not have hurt me in any way. But not buying it and handing her a more generic Happy Birthday card broke her heart. I said we could have tried other places and he said I could have let the mom card go this once. I argued that it wouldn't be just this once if I did it one time, because it would still hurt her to go back to stepmom cards every other time I'm sure. He said I was still in the wrong and that he hopes I'm damn proud of myself.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/l0n3l3y on 2023-09-16 05:03:03.

WIBTA for asking my fiance to reproprose cause he did it while I was using the toilet?

We have been together for almost 5 years. The ring is beautiful, it used to be his moms and I (F23) love the ring. He (m27) really is the sweetest man and this is an extremely rare flub from him. We had a lovely morning to ourselves romping around the bed if you get my jist. I go to the bathroom to clean up and use the toilet, as per the usual after this activity. I was taking a while and apparently he had been planning to propose that morning during cuddles.

Apparently I l took too long for his anxiety and he came in and proposed to me while I'm squeezing a log out so he didn't chicken out. He was crying and it was very sweet, but its not really the best way to propose and didn't feel very romantic? Its hilarious don't get me wrong, and while it is sweet he made the effort and just couldn't wait, its not an appropriate story to tell and I know people will want to know how he did it.

And thats not really a story id like to tell either. I love him and don't want to break his heart, or make him feel like he messed up, but damn, not how I imagined being proposed to you know?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Justanaunt2 on 2023-09-16 17:16:56.

I (F42) live with my husband Alex (M45) and our daughters Eve (F18) and Eva (F16). We live in a different city from our families due to work.

A few months ago my sister asked me if her daughter Kate (F19) can stay with us since she was starting college in our city. She was scared of her daughter moving away for first time, especially to a big city like ours.

I knew Kate from before Covid time and remembered her to be a smart sweet kid. I discussed with my husband and we agreed she can stay with us.

Kate moved in around two months back. She was fine, came home on time, let us know her whereabouts, no partying.

The issue was with food. She had turned vegan.

Normally I cook for my family. I cook just one meal for all. And we are all diary obsessed people. Milk for cereal, butter in pancakes, cheese in everything. Eggs were our staple.

Kate needed separate dishes altogether and we needed vegan substitutes for her. Since those are way more expensive, I told my sister she should give money to Kate so she can buy it. She stared telling me how family doesn't take money from family to feed kids. I told her I would feed Kate same as other kids but I won't spent excess money on her. She said thats fine.

Since her mom won't buy it, Kate started buying plant based substitutes with her pocket money. For dishes like pancakes, I made food for her using her incrediants.

But everytime I made a huge non vegan meal, she expected me to provide equivalent vegan meals. I drew line at that. I can't spend so much time cooking another meal. She said everyone else got to eat it while she was left with few stuff go eat. I told her she is free to cook for herself and she hated that idea.

It came to a boiling point last weekend when we had a barbeque dinner with friends. She got upset that her salad was very basic, (it was good only with chicken added) and had nothing else to eat. She complained and I told her she can cook for herself. She got even more upset at that and called her mom crying about how I didn't make any good meals for her and expected her to fend for herself.

My sister called me yelling at me how I didn't love her daughter and was intentionally excluding her. My parents are also taking their side.

AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Randomr3ddit1 on 2023-09-16 15:12:34.

I lease a house with my brother. We (should) pay 50-50, it's more like 60 me 40 him due to me paying all the upfront fees and the way the bills are split in our accounts.

Before we moved we set some rules, one being before anyone comes over the other person knows. And another being no one will stay over more than 3 or 4 days so we have our own privacy and after all that's about half the time which equates to half the pay.

Fast forward two months, he has virtually moved his girlfriend in without asking. She has been here for 2 weeks straight now. He went against what we agreed, I reminded him of this and he refuses to acknowledge what we agreed and how it makes me feel. He showed his girlfriend the private texts between us and said he will have her over as much as he wants to because he loves her and wants to be around her.

He wont answer why he doesnt go to her house, which at first he would go to. He leaves her in the house all day when he's at work and not back until after 5pm, sometimes later. It's the weekend and the only time I'm off, and she is here again. He's at work. I wake up and she's here, I leave for work she's here, I get home from work she's here, I go to bed she's here.

I don't see or speak to her, but her being here feels suffocating. I didn't pay all this money to share a house with someone who I don't know and honestly after the early interactions I've had with her, don't have any intention to know beyond a hello, as when I'm home I want to relax and let loose. Now I can't do that.

Again, I have tried talking to my brother about this, he refuses to acknowledge my point of view, showed her our messages, and said its ME who was making her feel bad.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Nancamp on 2023-09-16 08:28:42.

On mobile sorry for format and grammar..

My mother has been dating her Bf for 12 years. She has had 2 children living with her during that time, my sister E (f19) and Iris (f16) who are from her previous marriage. She shares custody of them with her ex husband. I am (30)f if it matters.

Iris has recently turned 16 and got a job and her license. My mother had previously said that she would be able to date once she was 16. So at a dinner I casually asked “so when is she going to be allowed to date now.”

My mothers BF immediately chimed in over my mom and said “not until she is 18 and out of the house” to which I responded “sorry who are you?” And he asked “who do you think I am.” I replied “my mother’s boyfriend.”

He took offense to this claiming that he helped “raise” my little sisters. I personally don’t think that anyone but the children’s parents should have a say, or think they have a say like that in how a child is raised. He also reacted the same way with my older sister E about her dating. She was never allowed to date while she was younger, and my mother told us all to hide it from him that she had gotten a boyfriend when she first moved to college as he would get angry. E has been dating that same boy for over a year now and he is a sweet heart and will do the world for her. My mothers BF won’t let him set foot in the house because of how strongly he feels about it.

Anyways the BF got his feelings hurt and basically said “I see how you see me” and left from the dinner and my mother is pissed at me but all of my sisters agree with me (including my 2 older sisters and can’t believe he had the audacity to butt into the conversation and think he has a say in the matter. My mother says I shouldn’t be saying anything about her relationship. I think she has issues separating her relationship from her children and that her and his relationship Does not and should not include her previous children. I would also have a the same stance if they were married.

Some more background: The children’s father is still very much in the picture, although he is also very much an asshole. My mother’s BF has helped to buy Iris a car recently. He has also kicked the older of the 2 girls E out 2 times from “his house.” I told E about this whole ordeal and she laughed at the thought that he “raised” them and she said that her and Iris will have a lot of trauma to work through with a therapist in years to come from him. To her he was simply around, her and Iris are incredibly close and I’m sure share the sentiment.

Edit for more background: He does minimal things in the house for them. This is not a case where he is checking their grades, helping with their homework, buying them school clothes, taking them to and from school and friends houses. My mom does all that. He lives with them and talks to them everyday. But he isn’t really providing for them other then that they live in his house, and he does take them on vacations, buy them presents, treat them to dinner out sometimes, etc…

Edit 2: They split rent for 10 years with my mom paying more money because of her kids. The kids are half with my mom half with their biological dad. In the last two years the boyfriend bought a house that now they live in.

Anyways am I the asshole for thinking and saying that he shouldn’t get a say in when and if my sisters are allowed to date?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRAnewshades on 2023-09-16 15:32:55.

Our daughter is 16 and at 5'1, she's 213 pounds. We know we messed up by overindulging her for years and giving in for years, but, we decided to right our wrongs and 2 weeks ago, we sat down with our daughter and discussed her weight. By the end of our conversation, we were all going on a diet as a family. It was great, she was motivated and it felt good.

On Thursday, my wife was cleaning my daughters room and found cookies and chips in a dresser. When we asked her about it, my daughter admitted she bought that stuff on the way home from school.

My wife was livid and began telling my daughter that she can afford to be eating junk, that she's nearly ' tipping the scales at 220lb'. My daughter said she got it. My wife kept going, asking if my daughter wanted to get so big that she walked with a waddle and wouldnt be able to fit through doorways. I told my wife to calm down. My wife snapped at me and asked my daughter 'if she's ready to get stuck in a desk at school'.

I stepped in and told my daughter to forget all the hysterics coming from her mom and just told her to come to us next time she had these cravings. She said she would.

My wife. about an hour later, said I'd undermined her by calling what she was saying ' hysterics'. She argued that everything that she said could happen if our daughter kept sneaking food. She said it was an AH move for me to not present a united front with her.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Own_Indication1884 on 2023-09-16 14:51:40.

My brother and his wife were married for 4 years when my brother learned that his ex had a baby that she never told him about and he was the father. The child in question was 9. My niece was a huge surprise for all of us. The last we knew my brother's ex "Emma" was moving for a job and wanted to end the relationship. She only reached out to my brother after all that time because she had cervical cancer and knew she had nobody to take care of their daughter "Lucy".

My brother met former SIL "Shannon" a few months after he and his ex broke up. They started dating and got married and had tried for a baby but Shannon was told she could not have a biological child due to PCOS. It broke Shannon's heart and she struggled with the news. It was about five months later that the news of Lucy broke and things spiraled.

A DNA test was carried out and proved my brother was the father. He was uncertain about a place in Lucy's life after all those years of them not knowing each other. But he did step up in the end. Shannon told him she could not stay if he was the father. She could not watch him raise his child with someone else. She could never love his child with someone else and would resent them both when she couldn't have a child.

After Shannon left she found out she was pregnant. She was told during the pregnancy that she never should have been told she couldn't have children. That the correct way of saying it would have been that it would be more difficult but certainly not impossible. Shannon was 13 weeks along when she found out she was pregnant. My brother figured that would make her want to try and make things work. But Shannon did not want to be a stepmother and said they should continue to divorce and co-parent their son "Kai" who was now 1.

So all in all it has been almost 2 years since they learned about Lucy and it didn't take long for the DNA results so it's close to two years since the relationship ended.

My brother went from being upset about Shannon not making it work, to pissed off, and he badmouths Shannon all the time. It got to the point where I grew tired of him saying it and I defended her. I said it was better for her to leave than to stay and treat Lucy badly when she knew she didn't want to raise her. I even asked my brother if he would have stayed had he been in Shannon's shoes. My brother said I should be on his side and not Shannon's and I'm defending the unforgivable.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bossplayasonly on 2023-09-16 14:42:34.

I (40M) was out for a jog and then came home to shower. It sometimes takes me a little longer to get ready in the morning as I don't have a set time to be at work. On this particular morning, I decided to take my time and get ready. This meant that I was getting out of the shower while the Babysitter was there.

For background, the babysitter is an actual adult friend of ours (wanted to make sure the creeps dont hijack the post). I will go ahead and get some of the questions that will be posed out of the way. Yes, she is attractive. She is one of those single type of women who we can't seem to find a reason for why she's single. I think it's because of something that we don't know, but that's a story for another time period. Also, I have no interest in cheating on my wife or being with this friend in any way.

Back to the story, Since I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself and went to spend some quality time with the baby. We were laying on the floor and my kid was enjoying some tummy time and playing. We are really working on trying to crawl and move so that our kid can stay on track developmentally. The babysitter walks into the room. Has a seat on the floor and starts playing with the baby as well. While rolling on the floor and playing with the baby, my towel comes open and my junk is exposed for the world to see.

I casually cover myself back up and continue to play with the babe. The friend/babysitter immediately jumps up. Starts grabbing her stuff and rushing towards the door. I start asking her what's going on. Are you okay? Is something the matter? She says I can't believe you just did that. What is wrong with you, you're sick, and on and on and on. I'm like, is this because you saw me partially/fully naked? And she says "yes" And slams the door on her way out the door.

While calling work to reschedule meetings and trying to get a hold of the babysitter, I get a frantic call from my SO (37F) asking what I did to the babysitter/ friend. I say nothing really. My towel just happened to fall off. While I was playing with the baby. She goes off telling me i'm an AH for this doing this and I should have put on clothes and I shouldn't have been wearing a towel so on and so forth. I am like sure cool whatever, but aren't you guys making a big deal out of nothing. We are all adults in this situation and we've seen plenty of naked bodies. I didn't make any moves. I wasn't trying to suggest anything. And I definitely wasn't trying to hurt anybody's feelings.

Friends and family have come down on both sides of the issue. So internet AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AdministrativeAd5732 on 2023-09-16 14:40:47.

My sister (f26) is getting married in a few weeks. I agreed to be the maid of honor, and she was- well we both were very excited. When we started to look for dresses she insisted to go to a store that was in a different town but I agreed because this was very important to my sister. We were inside the store and she was looking at dresses, she found a beautiful dress that looked stunning on her, but it was VERY expensive. She was super upset and asked me if I could help cover the expenses. I am in college, and paying for me and my boyfriend’s apartment and our pets at only 18, so it’s difficult for me to have extra money. I told her I wasn’t able to pay for it, and I was already paying my share of the bridal shower PLUS wedding gifts. She got mad, saying as the maid of honor it was MY RESPONSIBILITY to help her pay for HER DRESS. She now has been pestering our siblings to help her pay, and she even put the dress on hold, knowing she couldn’t afford it. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/blair43 on 2023-09-16 14:30:36.

I (41M) was dating a girl (35F) for 2 years. We started dating just before the covid lockdowns and I moved to the country she was living in to be with her. My bank account and work permit were not fully sorted when everything shut down so my salary was paid into her account.

We both ended up losing our jobs so went together to my country and lived there. While we were in my home I paid for everything and the spoken understanding was that she would pay me back (she is a professional with money, more than me).

After 2 years the pressure of everything was too much and I left her and she agreed that she would pay me back 20,000 dollars (my salary and living costs). Since the day I left her she hasn't replied to any messages and hasn't paid me back. I have spoken to lawyers who suggested I email her contacts to find out her whereabouts to begin legal procedures.

I am debating whether I email all of her family members, friends and past and present employers explaining the situation and that I need to contact her with a court summons.

She is a very private person and would be horrified by this but after no contact for almost 2 years I am at a loss of what else to do. WIBTA?

Edit to add - we were both assholes at the end of the relationship and it ended on bitter terms. I kinda bailed on her and I know that I could have handled things in a better way and her ego was super hurt.

Edit again - we are pretty International people and from different countries. She was paid my salary in one country, we are now both in other countries. Basically a laywer has said it will be very difficult due to laws of different countries and neither of us are from USA so suing people isnt really a thing in our respective countries. No contracts were signed and it is all her word against mine hence I want to take her to court.

Also shaming on social media in the title is actually incorrect on my part. I would individually make contact with everyone I know who is connected to her explaining the situation and try to gather her whereabouts. I have a fair idea where she is and where she works but no proof.