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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Past-Negotiation-881 on 2023-10-05 05:54:24.

My buddy is a loudmouth. I am used to it. He is a pretty good guy anyways.

We are currently working on a construction project that is behind schedule. (Aren't they all). They desperately need people to work over Christmas break.

Normally construction projects take a two week hiatus over that time. But when they don't $$$$$$$$.

Our boss explained exactly what the deal they were offering was. I immediately said I wanted in. My buddy said there was no way he was giving up his break.

The deal is that we will be paid double time for ever hour we work for 16 shifts in a row of twelve hours. Then we get two days off paid at our regular rate then we start the shift in the new year and get paid double time for 14 shifts of 12 hours. It is an extra $25,000 that I would miss out on.

Two days ago he comes into the office and he is pissed. He finally figured out that he will be earning straight time for the fourteen days in the new year and myself and two other guys will be getting double time.

He said if he's not getting paid double he will quit. Our boss heard him and asked if he was quitting immediately or waiting to fly home on Saturday. My buddy backpedaled and apologized for his outbreak.

Later he found me and said I was an asshole for not explicitly telling him about the money. I told him it wasn't my fault that he didn't listen when the deal was explained. I said it really wasn't my fault that his dumb ass ran his mouth where our boss could hear and almost get fired.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/One-Device-9342 on 2023-10-05 02:08:53.

My 5th grade since is part of an after school program. Basically he stays on the yard and plays with his friends and does activities. It's like an after school camp.

I work by his school and took a late 3pm lunch today. I went to the grocery store and was befuddled by all these kids running rampant. I realized they were from my son's school. Then I saw this short blonde hair kid who looked like my son chasing this kid who looked like his best friend with a bag of sugar and weaving between people.

As he got closer I realized this was my son. As he ran passed me, I pulled him into me and told him to calm down. He realized it was me and asked why I was there. I said I was on lunch and why is he there. He said his teachers took the after school camp to the store to buy snacks.

He asked me to let him go and I said no. I told him he knows how to act in a store and as his dad, his behavior embarrassed me. I took him to one of the teachers and asked if he belong to him. He said yes, to him and another teacher. He asked what was wrong and if I could let him go.

I said he and other kids are running around the store like a playground and you and Mrs. Daniel should be watching them better. Oh and I'm his dad. Mrs. Daniel came over and asked what was wrong. I told her what I told the other teacher.

She said I knew you looked familiar and laughed. I said this isn't funny. You better handle my son's behavior or I will and no one will like it. The guy teacher said "please don't talk down to us like that." I said then please do your job.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BrokenCatapiller on 2023-10-05 11:13:42.

I (F28) have been married to my husband Bob (M41) for two years.

A year ago Bob decided that he wanted to do his Masters Degree (1.5 years full time) so that he can work in a different field. Bob felt that having full time study and a part time job would be too much, and we decided that he should concentrate on his studies.

I work full time as a RN and Bob has been studying. We have to pay the fees upfront and it has been painful. A week before the start of the last semester Bob needed an emergency appendectomy. He decided to study part time for the whole semester in order to recover from surgery. He dropped half his classes.

At some point I crunched the numbers and realised we could not afford to pay the tuition for the next semester’s fees. Bob still has 1.5 full time semesters to study. We literally had NO savings and we’re just scraping by.

Bob was offered a job in a different city and we moved. The idea is once we have saved $$$, Bob can finish his course. He has the option to do a few of the classes online, but he wants to do it in person and all at once. Fine. His choice.

I started in the ICU of a hospital in the new city, but bumped into the NICU manager in my first week and she tried to convince me to move to NICU as they were desperate for staff, and were offering up-skilling.

This is the bit where I might be the asshole - the hospital would pay my tuition fees for my to study a Graduate Diploma in NICU Nursing. I would work in the NICU 4 days a week and at college one day a week. I would lose one day a week of wages, but could pick up extra shifts in the ICU.

I was excited to do this and asked Bob what he thought. He was hurt and said “But why do you get to do your thing, when we can’t afford to do mine?” and he won’t speak to me now.

AITA for wanting to study when we can’t afford for Bob to study right now?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TinyRat22 on 2023-10-05 11:31:10.

I (F23) work in tech, we have a pretty large office of about 50 people. Many people here are used to working from home since the pandemic, so dress code at the office is pretty casual. Jeans and jumpers mostly.

I was really worried to integrate with an actual office but it has been really chill so far. The only problem has been "Beatrice" who has worked in offices a lot longer than a lot of us younger workers have.

Beatrice is in her 50s and still tries to act like the queen bee of the office. We mostly just ignore her advice, and try to get our work done. She has an array of complaints about any number of things in the office but chief among them is how cold the office is.

We work in a southern part of the country and it approaches 90 most days even in October, so everyone in the office is fine with the AC being set at 72. With the strong fans in our office it often feels cooler.

Beatrice tends to wear low cut cardigans and pullovers and no bra. (This will be important later) She constantly complains how cold it is in the office, even though we all tell her to put on an extra layer. One day in the lunch room she said I must be so lucky to not feel the cold with my extra layer of blubber. I have a little extra fat but I am working down after struggling with an ED. This really stung me and I said maybe she should stop dressing like she works at Hooters if she wants to stay warm. She walked stiffly out of the room. My coworker told me she heard her crying in the bathroom.

I feel bad for making her cry, but I also felt really offended she implied only a fat person could be comfortable in the AC (I dress reasonably)

EDIT: She has made multiple comments about my outfits not fitting. I am MtF and I cannot wear all the outfits in my wardrobe perfectly.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RoyalMany3627 on 2023-10-05 09:56:26.

I 18 f was named after my aunt who died in a car accident at 15, almost 20 year's ago. I was told when I was born, my grandma saw my hair (Red) and begged my parent's to name me after my aunt. They agreed. From a young age, I was aware she favored me. It also caused my other cousins to resent me. I didn't like her favoritism towards me and just wanted to be treated normal. She would often say, you have red hair like your aunt or your aunt use to like art ( I'm not into art) and would encourage me to take it up. I refused and it would upset her. Your aunty liked her hair in this style. I complained to my parents and they said that I just bring her comfort. Whatever!

My 18th was two weeks ago and me and my friends planned to have a weekend road trip. My grandma disapproved and said my aunt would have done a party at home and I finally lost it and said that's because, I'm not her, stop trying to make me be your dead daughter, I'm sick off it! My grandma started crying and left the room. I immediately felt bad. I got yelled at by family for making my grandma cry and my dad was the only one who looked troubled and stuck up for me and told everyone to leave. My mother was upset with me and like everyone else, demanded I apologize to my grandma, but I refused. My dad told me not to worry about it, and just go enjoy my road trip, it should be settled down, by the time I get back. Except it hasn't, everyone still angry and my grandma hasn't spoken to me either.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/99TAC on 2023-10-05 02:51:20.

5 years ago my wife organized a party at our house to celebrate my retirement. From the get go, the very start, I told her "I don't want any children at the party". It was going to be starting at 8pm and was hopefully going to be a full-on bender! Invites were sent out a month in advance, letting people know not to bring their kids, and a month was plenty of time to find a relative or sitter. Nobody had a problem with this...except on couple. They informed us that they would be bringing their spawns of Satan (they are horribly behaved little terrors) because reasons. A subtle 'do and the door won't be opened to you' response was sent, with no further word from them.

So the evening arrives and everyone found care for their kids. The other couple weren't there so we assumed they had blown it off. 45 minutes into the event the husband arrives with no wife, no kids. Whatevs, come on in and have fun, we said, did you not find a sitter? "We got your message, loud and clear" was his condescending response. Again, whatevs, he wasn't going to ruin my night! He stays 30 minutes then slips away.

Fast forward 5 years. I've been in therapy for the last three (PTSD) and have been working on myself and personal growth, learning about and putting up barriers. I find out that said husband has been texting others up until last week, still moaning about our no kids policy and blaming my wife for it. So now he's on the other side of a boundary, and angry because of that.

WITA? Me or him?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SurpriseMother1054 on 2023-10-05 08:55:24.

I think she asked this to start an argument. That’s exactly how it ended. My wife asked me to be honest and asked me if she should get a mommy makeover. I told her yes. She then went on a tangent about me having issues with her body.

I was so confused. I told her no, and why she would think that. Apparently, a “mommy makeover” are procedures and plastic surgery you get after having kids. I assumed it was something innocent like getting a pedicure/ manicure/ self care. I also thought it would be on my dime, and wanted her to treat herself. Aita? She’s making it seem like I am even though I clarified the confusion about what it meant.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nafsiyatisnorlax on 2023-10-05 07:17:53.

Around a week ago, a group of my coworkers and I were having casual lunch and talking about each other's lives when this girl (who joined not too long ago) who we'll call Jane (34F), told us about a guy who she's been dating for a while and how she thinks they will be making it official soon. She was excitedly going on about him when another coworker asked her for a picture of him, if she has any. Initially she was hesitant because, her words, "he doesn't like having his pictures taken".

So she pulls up a picture of him and the moment my eyes land on her phone, I became fucking paralyzed for a few moments. Yeah, it was none other than Mark (42M), who happens to be the husband of my friend Sarah (39F). I couldn't believe my eyes, and I was so freaking confused about all of this. After asking her around a bit, I found out that Mark and Jane have been seeing each other for almost a year now and also used to be high school sweethearts who just *happened to reconnect*.

So after lunch that day, I impulsively decided to confront Mark, we spoke over the phone and I told him everything about Jane, and he admitted to seeing Jane behind Sarah's back. Mark claimed it was a recent fling and promised to end things with Jane and work on his marriage with Sarah. He begged me profusely to not tell Sarah anything, as he'll fix this up himself. Reluctantly, I agreed to keep this whole thing between us, thinking he might end things with Jane or maybe tell Sarah of his infidelity himself.

Unfortunately, I soon discovered that Mark hadn't kept his word. He was still seeing Jane, betraying them both. Also, Jane doesn't know Mark's married, as he never told her. So at this point, both of the women are unaware of Mark two timing them.

Feeling stuck in the middle and because Mark went back on his promise, I decided Sarah deserved to know the truth. I spilled the beans about the affair and Mark's ongoing involvement with Jane. Sarah was devastated, and she confronted Mark, leading to a heated fight, police were called etc and that pretty much ended with her asking for a divorce.

Now, things have taken a dramatic turn in our friend group. Some of our mutual friends are angry with me, blaming me for causing the collapse of a seemingly good marriage. Hostility is all times high against me within our friend group, and it's putting a strain on our relationships.

To make matters worse, Mark's mother even contacted me, expressing her anger and frustration, and she wasn't shy about using choice words to describe my actions. She called me a bitch and a homewrecker like I was the one Mark was cheating with??????

So, tl;dr, am I the asshole for exposing my friend's cheating husband to her and the girl he was cheating on with and potentially causing a divorce in their marriage and bad blood among our friend group? Should I have just stayed out of it all together, or did I do the right thing by revealing the full extent of Mark's betrayal?

Edit: thank you to everyone who commented and gave me assurance that I am infact NTA. I had been beating myself up over this whole thing for the past ten days but no more. Thank you really. Also, for all the people commenting about Jane and Mark's age gap and how it doesn't make sense. I know it doesn't, maybe Mark lied about how he met Jane or maybe Jane gave me a false age, but I'm leaning more towards the former because the guy's a cheater and an even shittier liar.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/lioneaglegriffin on 2023-10-05 05:27:34.

My mom passed away in April without a will, and I'm currently going through probate to transfer my parents' properties. I plan to sell the church/house and keep the one where my half-sister is living. I am my mom's only child, and my half-sister is on my dad's side, who passed away in 2020.

My half-sister has been living at the second property for almost 20 years, paying rent to my dad and then to my mom/me since my mom let me handle rent collection. A little over a week after my mom's funeral, she approached me and said, "I'd like to be added to the deed after the mortgage is paid off." I was stunned by the request and didn't know what to say, so I told her I would ask the lawyer about it.

I can understand her perspective, as paying rent for 20 years without having property in your name can be frustrating. She might also be worried about me raising the rent. She currently pays $875 in Los Angeles (the mortgage is $500), but the market rate on Zillow is $2k.

However, I have several reasons for not wanting to add her to the deed:

1. My dad used to complain to me about how she took advantage of his kindness by not paying the rent in full by the first of every month (half on the 1st and half on the 15th), causing him to make up the shortfall himself until the middle of the month. Sometimes she'd skip a month of rent to go on vacation.
2. While sick with cancer, my dad advised me not to let people take advantage of me, especially if they're family, as it was one of his biggest regrets.
3. She lied to me about the reason my dad raised the rent, claiming it was so he would take over repairs because she was doing them herself with the lower rent (I remember accompanying my dad when he made repairs himself as a kid, so this is obviously not true).
4. Her request to be added to the deed "after the mortgage is paid off" seems unfair, as it implies she wants the benefits of homeownership without the debt involved if I decided to keep the mortgage.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Strawberry-kerry on 2023-10-04 23:36:24.

In the beginning of this summer my sister (F39) called me (F38) crying telling me that her husband (M33) of 7 years as married 13 years together, 1 child, had an affair. This came as a completely shock because up until then I always saw him as one of the nicest guys and during their whole relationship he’s the one “winning the lottery” I’m not saying that just because she’s my sister but because she really did the wife effect on him. From being this overweight gamer with no ambition in life, to this fit guy with a degree and a great job now. During his whole education she supported him and thanks to her he could study but still living a very high maintain life with restaurant dinners and vacations. They bought an house, had a wedding in Italy and just recently bought a Porsche. They also one of the greatest kid in the world, my nephew who I love more then anything. She has giving him everything and during their whole relationship me and my boyfriend have been hanging out with them. My boyfriend and him are really good friends and even hang out sometimes in their own. So when she called me and told me she caught him cheating and had a f-king affair for three months my heart broke for her and I felt such a rage towards him for hurting my sister. Despite this my sister decided to forgive and stay with him. Which we got into in an argument about. But it’s her decision so I’ll support her in any way I can, especially since she’s putting my nephew first and before herself. But now after a couple of months both my sister and my boyfriend wants us to start hanging out again. I feel though Im still mad at him and that in general don’t like him anymore and therefor don’t want to hang out. Both my sister and boyfriend thinks I’m being a bit unreasonable. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cautious_Shift_567 on 2023-10-05 06:35:41.

Throwaway Account because too many people know my main. And, yes, the story is just as crazy as the title suggests.

I (32f) have a cousin "Mia" (32f) through my maternal size and while we were never besties I considered us on good terms. We got a little closer when my mom, stepdad, siblings and I moved to the same city my cousin and her parents were in high school. She'd show me around and invite me to group activities that she was at, which I really appreciated but our personalities were just too different for us to consistently hang out together.

During the summers of my high school life I would go spend it with my dad and coincidentally a guy named "Gene" (33m) would spend his summers with his aunt who's house was right next door to Mia's. Mia had the hots for him instantly but from how she would whine on about never getting him to date her, I could tell he wasn't interested. I'd never seen him in person as a teenager but Mia had pictures and I agreed he was definitely a good looking guy and the fact that he lived in another country and had a cute accent made him all the more attractive in Mia's eyes.

Despite wanting Gene, Mia would go on dates with other guys which I didn't begrudge her but I did take exception when she was seen making out with my boyfriend at a party. Mia claimed that it was an accident brought on by the alcohol and just as I was starting to forgive her Mia revealed she was pregnant and my ex was the father. That sealed the deal for me and outside of big family events I didn't see Mia at all. Mia and my ex's parents pressured them to marry before the baby was born and I did not attend the wedding despite my family's pleas/demands. It was honestly one of the reasons why I moved in with my dad, his wife, and other siblings during college. After college I got a job at a company that was doing business with a company that Gene was at and we officially met there. Gene recognized me as Mia's cousin and had a "what a small world" type of reaction.

I had to explain to Gene that Mia and I "drifted apart" and he stopped bringing her up. After that we had a semi-causal relationship and I did genuinely find him charming. It wasn't until after I left the company and got a new job that Gene asked me out and I agreed. When we started to get more serious I got more detailed about what went down with me and Mia, and Gene confessed that he was aware of her crush he wasn't interested and just played dumb instead of being straight forward.

Fast forward to now and I am 5 months pregnant. Gene is the father and I recently made a post with a pic of us together and that's how Mia found out. I have been getting calls and texts from Mia, her mom, a few of her friends stating that I am TA for not reaching out to Mia and giving her a heads up at the very least. I knew that Mia might feel some type of way about this, but I honestly didn't care. However, she's apparently devastated so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Darth_Turbo on 2023-10-05 03:36:11.

My grandfather died five years ago. After his funeral, my grandmother, who was his second wife, gave me his watch. The watch is made of solid gold and worth a few thousand dollars but not insanely valuable. At the time, none of my other relatives asked about it.

My grandmother died last week. My mom was her only daughter and has five half siblings, who are my grandfather's children by his first wife. My mom and her half siblings generally have good relationships, even though some of my half aunts and uncles weren't terribly fond of my grandmother. This is especially true of my oldest half uncle, who considers himself the leader of the family despite being an almost 70 year old ne'er do well. I remember many instances from my childhood where this uncle would insult my grandmother when my grandfather wasn't around.

I wore my grandfather's watch to my grandmother's funeral. Afterward, the family gathered at my grandparents' house for dinner. As the booze began to flow, my uncle noticed the watch. He asked where I got it, and I told him that my grandmother had given it to me five years ago. He responded with a simple "Oh, that's nice" and seemed to drop subject. However, as the meal continued, he kept bringing it up. I forget the exact exchange, but by the end my uncle said that the watch wasn't my grandmother's to give away since she was "only the stepmom."

I said that my grandmother may have been the stepmom, but she was still my grandfather's wife and I was still his grandson. My uncle responded by saying that the watch should have gone to someone who carries my grandfather's name. By this point, I was angry and drunk and answered, "Maybe she would have given you the watch if you didn't treat her like crap! Or maybe she just knew that I wouldn't pawn it to keep the lights on!" The table went silent, and the gathering broke up soon afterward.

The next day, many of my relatives told me that I needed to apologize to my uncle. My mom even suggested that I give my uncle the watch as a "peace offering." My mom grew up as the odd child out, and as a result has a tendency to placate her half siblings even when they're being unreasonable. I told her that I don't care what her half brother thinks, that he and his children are trash, and that I have as much right to my grandfather's property as any of them do. AITA for keeping the watch?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/yayan29 on 2023-10-05 00:03:08.

So yesterday I was meal prepping a weeks worth of chili for myself and my girlfriend (roughly 2 gallons) in a huge wok at my home. While putting in the last few ingredients, I realized I was missing Chipotle peppers and fritos, two things that I love putting in my chilli.

Since there's a grocery store cross the street from my neighborhood (GPS says 0.2miles from my house, literally a one minute drive) I decided to leave the chilli on the stove at the lowest heat and go and grab the missing ingredients quickly. I was back home within 5 minutes of leaving.

When I left, one of my roommates was at home and I told him I was running to the store for a second and that I had chili simmering on the stove. My other roommate was gone all day with his girlfriend.

When I get back home I'm immediately barraged at the door by my other roommate's girlfriend, who arrived just a minute before me, screaming about how ridiculous it was of me to leave the stove on unattended. I tried calmly explaining to her that I left right before she got there, and was only gone for 5 minutes. I also calmly explained that I was simmering POUNDS of chili, and that with how much food there was in the wok, and how low the heat was, it would have taken a day and a half before it dried out and became a fire hazard. She didn't care one bit and still yelled at me like a pissed off mother reprimanding a child.

I expressed that I wasn't OK with her yelling at me, especially in my house, and making demands as if she owned the place. Immediately she deflected and made it about how her dog COULD have been there by himself and COULD have been hurt if the house caught on fire (her dog wasn't there, also my house isn't a daycare center for her dog).

I told her I've made chili dozens of times and I've always left it on simmer unattended for hours and hours at a time, mixing it occasionally, and I knew what I was doing. I also made a point that my pet parrot WAS at home while I left to the store, and that if I thought leaving chili on simmer for a few minutes would be a fire hazard, I wouldn't have done that. Birds are extremely sensitive to fumes and smoke (so much that coal miners would bring them into mines to give ample warning if there were toxins in the air)

I told her I would understand her being upset if I did this at her house without permission , but I did this at mine. I also said that it would be different if I left with the stove on max, like if I were searing a steak or something; but this is chili, one of the few foods you leave to cook all day on the lowest heat possible.

Long story short, she blows up and throws a tantrum while saying some less than nice things to me. The next day I overhear her on the phone with my roomate basically talking shit about how I can't take accountability for anything, I'm an asshole, ect.

Do people actually stand around in the kitchen for 6 hours staring at chili while it simmers? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRAnosuchthing on 2023-10-05 04:00:43.

When we were 17, my then GF(now wife) and I became parents. My family was really upset by the whole thing. When we got married, they were even more upset. To my family, my wife is nothing but a pretty face, " zero between the ears" as it was put by my oldest sister.

At the time, my wife was basically like, " If they aren't going to be happy about anything, we don't need to be around them, or speak to them". At the time, that made sense to me, I was in that same mindset.

We're both 22 and our daughter is 5. Sunday was her birthday and she got cards in the mail from my parents, and my 2 older sisters. They'd never sent cards before. She's never met them. I was shocked we got these cards.

To me it was a way of saying, " let's put the ugliness behind us, move forward". I brought up the idea to my wife that maybe, soon, we could introduce her to my family.

My wife's a hard no on this. Says that because they weren't by our side in the beginning, they don't get to be around now. I tried to pitch her on the idea that I think a little forgiveness could go a long way. She says she cant just forgive people who tried to " destroy her happiest moments".

When I asked my wife what exactly her plan is when our daughter starts getting curious about my side of the family. My wife's plan is to just paint them as cold, mean people who don't deserve to be around our daughter. She got very upset with me and felt I pushed too far on the idea of the reunion.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Real-Appointment-689 on 2023-10-05 01:26:05.

I have a significant trauma associated with the act of tossing a baby in the air and catching them. When I was a child, I witnessed a terrible accident related to this. My cousin was about 6 months old, and his father was playing with him like that. However, he slipped from his father's hands and fell headfirst to the ground. He suffered a brain hemorrhage and was left with permanent disabilities. He never walked, talked, or developed normally again.

I've never forgotten that scene and have always been afraid that it could happen to my child. He is 4 months old, and I want to protect him from everything. So, I asked my husband never to engage in this play with him. I explained the reason, and he agreed. He said he understood and wouldn't do it.

But yesterday, I caught him doing it secretly. I had gone to the bathroom, and when I returned, I saw him tossing our baby in the air and laughing. I was terrified, and I yelled at him to stop. He was startled and said I was overreacting, that he knew what he was doing, that he wouldn't let our child fall. He claimed it was just a game, that our baby enjoyed it, and that he was having fun.

I got furious and argued with him. I told him he was being irresponsible, putting our child at risk, and disrespecting my wishes. I said he had no awareness of the danger, that he could seriously hurt our child, even kill him. I said he had no right to do this, that he should listen to me, that I knew what I was talking about.

He got offended and argued that I was being paranoid. We had a big fight, and we're not talking to each other right now. I feel terrible. I just want what's best for our child, but did I overreact? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ZeCerealKiller on 2023-10-04 23:57:24.

We hosted a dinner party where we had relatives from both of our families over. I am a sous chef and I'm very proud of my work, as I work in one of the most prestigious restaurants in the city. We had 11 people and I asked about dietary requirements and what people wants to eat. Everyone was fine with a risotto and didn't want anything else. They all said they want to try mine as the restaurant I work at often gets praised and we are known for our authentic Italian food.

When the guests showed up, one of my wife's uncle brought a frozen pizza over. Stating "I don't eat risotto, I don't do carbs". He had over 2 days to inform me about his dietary requirements and I could also whip something out very last minute if needed. At the end of the night, my wife asked what was wrong and I told her I thought it was very rude of her uncle, to show up with his own frozen pizza and told me he don't do rice because he doesn't touch carbs (because apparently there's no carbs in frozen pizzas). And he didn't bother trying it and much rather have his frozen pizza.

She said I was over reacting and shouldn't be mad or offended. I spent time and effort on making a very nice risotto for everyone (with the starters, wine, mains and dessert that I prepared, the cost would be around £70 each if they ate at my restaurant) and if he wanted something else, I would've been more than happy to make a pizza from scratch for him. It's not difficult.

So AITA for being offended and think it's rude that he brought his own food to a dinner party and gave me a random BS excuse? Because it's the same principle for restaurants, if you bring your own food to a restaurant, they would ask you to leave.

Edit: my mom, step dad and cousin in law all think it was very rude for what he did and quite disrespectful to the host of the party. I also wanted to tell him to go back home with his frozen pizza, but didn't.

Edit 2: seems like lots of people are getting lost midway through.

1. The reason I'm offended and mad, is because he gave me a bs excuse.
2. I asked everyone if there were dietary requirements. There were and worked around their needs.
3. He told me he wanted to try my risotto and had no allergies nor food related issues.
4. He is not a fussy eater.

Edit 3: even though I was mad, I didn't say anything to him. Cooked his damn frozen pizza (and no, I was nice enough to not burn it) I enjoyed the dinner party with all the other guests. Even the uncle's daughter and wife told him it's rude to bring a pizza to someone's dinner party as a guest and he shouldn't.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Flat-Photograph3659 on 2023-10-05 00:39:13.

I have been married to my husband for 3 years and together for 7. Our only child is 2.5 years old and the last two years have been a struggle. This past weekend my husband admitted that he thought we had decided that I would make the child-rearing decisions and that he would "help" when I needed it. I was livid. I told him he had just defined "default parent." He did not think it was a bad thing that I make all the decisions for our child and he "helps" when I struggle. Cut to last night - I took two hours after work to get a run in with friends. This had been planned for a week and husband said he was cool with it. I came home to a house in disarray, table had not been cleaned from dinner, daughter had not had her bath, and other than ordering pizza for dinner, no other forward motion had been made to get our child into any sort of nighttime routine. I should add that my MIL was at the house as my husband had called her over to help. Husband jokingly says - "we didn't get anything done." I bit my tongue until this morning after a fitful night of interrupted sleep with our toddler (her sleep is off, but that's an entirely different post) - and I told him that I would have been better off hiring a babysitter the night before because a teenager could have accomplished more. He was defensive and responded that it was just a hard night. I get that, our kid is 2, so much of it is hard. I also know that when he plays in sports leagues 1-2 times a week and watches football at a bar 1-2 nights a week - I somehow manage to cook dinner, bath our child, brush her teeth, clean as I go, and get her calmed down if not totally in bed. I know I wasn't kind, but I don't think what I said was untrue. Am I wrong here?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SprinklesConnect7017 on 2023-10-05 00:37:18.

Throw away account because family drama.

Before we were married my (34F) and husband (42M) were in a horrific car accident, both almost killed. Since we were unmarried we each received separate 8 figure settlements. Literal fuck you money as we were hit by a major carrier 18 wheeler in 2016. We both still work full time, I have a 6 figure salary my husband 7 figure salary. Sounds braggy, sorry, but it’s important. Now to the point.

My brother, Mike (38M), proposed to my now SIL, Alice (32F) in 2017 and married in 2018. I love them both and would burn the world down for them no questions asked BUT I think they see my husband and I as an ATM. Post settlements, husband and I paid off all our student loans. I have a master’s he a Ph.D. so not cheap. I also, without his knowledge as a surprise, paid Mike’s student loans with the help of SIL. Would have paid SILs too but she had a full scholarship so no loans.

Mike and Alice paid for their own wedding as Alice’s family couldn’t afford it but chipped in where they could. It was a beautiful wedding. They stayed within budget but Mike realized he wouldn’t be able to take their dream honeymoon and asked if my husband and I could loan him some money for the cruise he wanted to take her on. We agreed and asked him to pay us back within a year of the trip. He agreed. To this day we haven’t seen a dime but aren’t mad over it. Alice and Mike hit a rough patch with some health issues, then covid and now here we are.

My SIL can be a lot. She also likes to tell me how to parent my kids (5M, 3M, and 1M). She and Mike don’t have any and don’t plan to. Fine their choice. My oldest had his birthday party over the weekend and in true 5 year old fashion asked for a trucks theme. We decked the house out. Day was going well until Alice made a comment about my 3YO having a meltdown over not getting any presents. I told her he’s little and expressing emotions how he knows. Not a super big deal for me as he’s pretty easily redirected.

She commented how I’m enabling him to become a “Karen” later in life and how she wouldn’t tolerate it if she had kids. I quipped it was a good thing they weren’t planning on having any and went back to my little guy. She said something to the effect of “poor parenting” and in a snap judgement I told her I paid for her honeymoon and she and Mike owed me $7k and once I got that money back I would take her input into consideration. She grabbed Mike and stormed out of the party. That night my brother, SIL and her sister blew up my phone calling me an AH for telling her. My brother is pissed because it was “supposed to be between us.” Something I don’t recall us talking about. I thought she knew the whole time. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway_6226 on 2023-10-04 22:49:08.

For context, my brother, L (31) is disabled, he and was born with a condition that made him born without a chin/jaw. He is genuinely my (40F) best friend. Our mother died last month, it hit L the hardest because she was his carer. She had cancer, so we had time to discuss any wishes that my mother had, one of them was that when she died I let my brother live with me, I agreed. I got an extension added on to the side of our house for my brother, so he would have his own space and I could always look out for him. Our family has always been close with L, he would stay with us when my mother was away. My son (11) adores him and they're always doing fun things together like sports and gaming, I also thought my daughter B(20) got along with L, they often have mario kart tournaments together and L has even convinced me and my husband to give her a bit more independence. Two nights ago B came home late from a party with her friend. I always stay up when B is out to make sure she got home okay. I heard her come into the house with her friend and I heard B say "we need to be quiet so we don't wake my r slur uncle up". I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Me and my husband have never raised our kids to say such things. That comment just took me back to when me and L were younger and me defending him against all the horrible people that would stare and make fun of him. I got up out of bed and I asked my daughter to repeat what she said. I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't think I'd hear that. I asked how she could say something so cruel about her own uncle. That this is not how she was raised and at 20 she should know how awful that is, and if she thought saying that to her friend made her look cool she was wrong, that she made herself look like an insecure bully. She didn't apologise, she just said that nobody was meant to hear that and it's not a big deal. I asked B's friend if her parents are okay with her having friends stay over. She said yes so I told B to leave and stay at her friend's house. B said I'm meant to take her side, that I'm her mother, I told her I have been L's sister longer than I've been a mother. B didn't think I was serious, I've always been a calm parent and I have never told her to leave the house before. I had every intention of having B back home, but she needed to learn a lesson that I meant that behaviour would not be tolerated. I apologised to B's friend for being in the middle and I gave her cash to cover the cab to her house. I called B yesterday, hoping she understood how out of line she was, she didn't. She was unhappy that I took L's side over hers. I told her to come home so we could discuss this properly but she refused. I have been in touch with her friend and B is still staying with her, so at least she's safe.

My husband said I was too harsh, but there's still that protective big sister rage in me.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Desperate-Word-1130 on 2023-10-04 20:48:18.

New account please -

My partner's (both in mid 30s, we share a home) parents gave my partner the beloved family cabin. They had the opportunity to buy a smaller cabin nearby from a friend and as it is mostly just the mother using it, a smaller place made sense. They didn't want to get rid of the original, mostly due to sentimental value as the mother LOVES it. The only discussion about the cabin was, "Would you want it?"; "Yes."; "OK, we'll take the value out from any inheritance with your siblings." There was some legal/tax stuff of course, but no other discussions.

I understand the cabin was a gift to partner, I am not on the title, but as we spend time there together, I wanted to de-clutter (with partner's unequivocal OK). Specifically, I got a new couch as the original was from the 90s; got new table cloths; got rid of a lot of random furniture covering; and boxed up all the knick-knacks just laying about. I'm talking dozens of random plastic bits that no one knows the origins of, a bowling pin(?), broken ping pong handles, toy parts, so many coasters, so many mugs holding more random bits. I didn't touch any hung photos or other furniture.

His mother comes by and notices the changes. She's upset. I tell her I kept everything so she can take it, but she just goes on to say that it's supposed to be at the old cabin. She tells me that we needed to ask permission.

WITAH for de-cluttering the beloved family cabin my partner now owns?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Judgy_A_Hole on 2023-10-04 21:56:03.

I (32f) have been engaged to my fiancé (27m) for about a year now. We'll call him Jack for this story.

Once we got engaged, I immediately started planning.... and my family has been fighting me every step of the way.

The venue is too far. These are the venues I should be looking at. I should have this and that and this other kind of food. This is the kind of dress I should wear. Etc....

It has been a nightmare.

One morning I had gone to breakfast with my mother and grandmother, and somehow the topic of the wedding came up. My mother casually said something along the lines of a list of people she was going to invite. I put my foot down and said, "No, you're not inviting people I don't know to my wedding." Her response was, "Well, if i am helping pay for it then i will invite whoever i want."

I have not asked her to help with paying for the wedding. Jack and I had decided we would be footing the bill ourselves. I told her, "WE are paying for it, so no, you will not invite whoever you want, and most guests will not even be getting a plus one." I want a small wedding. 50/60 people is the absolute max and that is a lot. My guest list at the moment is right around that number and I'm not budging on it.

My grandmother decided to chime in and said, "Oh, you're such a b*tch," and that's where the conversation ended.

For the record, I had already added some of her close friends who I have met before on the list so she would have people to mingle with.

AITA for putting my foot down?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RCKitKat84 on 2023-10-04 20:43:43.

So, I (40F) have struggled with PCOS since I was diagnosed at 16. I was told at 18 I had less that 1% chance to get pregnant with out medical help. My husband (36M) and I tried for 4 years, and right when I was about to talk to my doctor about what the next steps would be for treatment, I ended up pregnant and gave birth to our son.

When our son was 4, we started trying for a second baby, knowing that while it would be a long journey, it was possible. We did look into getting the medical help this time, but my insurance wouldn't cover it and we did not have the money to afford it, so we just prayed that the old fashion way would work like it did with our son.

Well, our son is now 10, and I had basically given up on having a second child when we found out that I was once again pregnant! We were over the moon on being able to complete our family. We told our son, who is beyond excited to be a big brother, and told our families and friends the good news. I couple of weeks later, at a BBQ a friend was hosting, I was talking to my best friend about it and she was excited to plan my baby shower for me. She was unable to plan the shower for my son because she lived too far away and was busy with working and grad school, so to get a chance to do it this time made her happy. A couple of other people over heard us and starting telling us that it was tacky to have a baby shower for the second born child, that only an attention seeking AH would throw a second baby shower. My argument is that it has been 10 years since my son was an infant and we have either gotten rid of most of our baby things or they have expired. The only things we have are our sons baby blankets and some sentimental baby clothes our son wore.

These people scoffed and told me that if we couldn't afford a second baby, we shouldn't have a second baby and walked away. The rest of the party they stood over on the other side of the yard and kept glancing at me and my best friend, sneering and giggling among themselves. My mood was ruined, and just went through the motions of the rest of the party. I ended up excusing myself early, claiming to be tired and nauseous from the pregnancy (the friend lives about two doors away from my house, so it was a quick walk home).

A little while later my husband came home, my best friend filled him in on what happened. He told me to forget about those women, that they were just jealous and bitter mean girls who haven't really left high school. He said that we can still have a baby shower if we want. But now I'm wondering, even though it has been 10 years, if I would be an attention seeking AH for having a baby shower for baby #2. So Reddit, WIBTA??

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-State-2025 on 2023-10-04 21:08:03.

My son "Cordon" (15M) is a wrestler and struggles with being bipolar and bulimic. He's been in therapy since last year after me an his mom started getting a divorce and he wasn't taking it well. Things got so bad that he had to quit wrestling for a bit after his coach caught him throwing up in the bathroom. So far Cordon seemed to be doing better and is on meds that seem to work for him. He even started wrestling again this year.

His mom got engaged to the man she had an affair with last month and since then Cordon seems to be slipping again. I'm pretty sure I've heard him making himself sick and he's been in a bit of a funk after he quit talking to one of his teammates. After one of his therapy appointments I asked his therapist about my concerns and what I could do to help more if I felt cordon was sinking again. He kinda slyly told me and my ex that maybe he might be scared of coming out us and he had a bad break up. Luckily Cordon was waiting out in the car and didn't hear that.

I was furious not because my son is gay ,but because he didn't get to tell me himself. I cussed his therapist out on the spot and told him how unethical it was to tell me what he and Cordon had talked about and outing a teenager. I threatened to report after he kept saying he was trying to help us out. Later my ex tells me she thinks I overreacted and that maybe it would be a good thing to be in the know without Cordon knowing. AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok-Station-1415 on 2023-10-04 17:39:24.

So me and my GF have been trying to have a kid and we have been successful and she's currently 2 months pregnant. We were just hanging out and the she told me that she expected me to sell my motorcycle soon cause it was just too dangerous of a hobby to have as a soon to be dad.

I told her I wasnt going to do that since ive been riding for the past 10 years and been perfectly fine and she's just over reacting. She told me that this was something she wasn't going to budge on a and that i had to do it.

I told her that it wasnt her choice to make and i wasnt going to give up my hobbies just cause i was about to become a dad and that she should have brought this up back when we decided to start trying for a kid.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bethmcgoy on 2023-10-04 20:50:52.

About four weeks ago our family (me, my husband, and our 1 year old daughter) went to a wedding for some friends. And just today, my husband gets a text from his friend "just letting him know" that kids actually weren't welcome at the wedding. The information about kids not being welcome was not on the invitation, the only location that it was mentioned was buried on their wedding website under the FAQ. Additionally these friends had seen/talked to us several times in the months leading up to the wedding and not once did they warn us or mention that kids weren't invited. At the wedding we were very aware of not letting our kid disrupt anything, during the ceremony we were about 100 yards away hiding behind trees and during the reception we stayed outside the whole time either hiding around the corner of the building or walking around the grounds away from everyone. So we were very successful in not letting our kid disrupt anyone at all, and the groom even acknowledged this in his "letting us know". Of course we feel bad and are embarrassed about it. We did send an apology saying that we were sorry and that it was an honest mistake but included the info that the reason we didn't know was because we assumed that the official invite would have all the info we would need and therefore didn't read the website and never saw the FAQ. The groom has been kind but we know that the bride is very very very detail oriented (to an extreme degree, so much so that the groom commented on it in his vows) and we are certain that she asked him to message us. We aren't sure what it is that they want from us at this point, and what the reason for sending this awkward message is, we can't change the past. Am I the asshole for accidentally bring my kid even though they didn't disrupt anything? Or is it them, because they didn't make it clear but then got pretty upset about it and made our relationship awkward now?