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On December 24th, 2008 I was almost 21 and drinking wine at my Grandma's house with my family. We were having a good time. I don't really talk to that side of the family anymore though. I got a phone call from my best friend, Kyle. I joking let my uncle answer. Kyle asked to talk to me. He sounded angry.

The next few words he said were like a a fucking nuclear bomb that seared my fucking brain for life. He said, "NineMileTower, Steve died (in Iraq). A bridge gave out, his hummer flipped, and he drowned."

That was in 2008. I'm 37 now. I have two beautiful girls and an amazing wife. I think of Steve all the time. I ask myself, "Why do I deserve these amazing kids, wife and life, and he had to die?"

I fucking hate Christmas. I hate the stupid music. I hate fake bullshit decorations. I hate that I'm supposed to pretend that every Christmas it doesn't fucking kill me that he isn't here. I'm here enjoying my kids and their holiday and he's dead.

I fucking hate Christmas.

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[-] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 day ago

Sorry this time of year is tough on you. I was last deployed to Iraq in 2006, so before Steve but I'm sorry for your loss. We all grieve in our own way. Just make sure you let it out.

I lost Sgt Perez on one of my deployments. He was a good dude. He said he messed up early in his career but would never explain the details. I guess he would have been picking up a promotion if he didn't have that bad paperwork. Great NCO. He looked after us. He had 3 kids and a wife. 2 of the kids was with his current wife. He was out walking around base at night when some rockets were shot at the base. He got some sharpnel when it impacted a building and didn't make it.

I try to live my life in memory of the lost loved ones. They aren't here anymore to enjoy life, so I try to enjoy it for them. Christmas can be corny and sound torture with all the songs, but some parts are enjoyable.

this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
130 points (81.6% liked)

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