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submitted 5 months ago by NineMileTower@lemmy.world to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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On December 24th, 2008 I was almost 21 and drinking wine at my Grandma's house with my family. We were having a good time. I don't really talk to that side of the family anymore though. I got a phone call from my best friend, Kyle. I joking let my uncle answer. Kyle asked to talk to me. He sounded angry.

The next few words he said were like a a fucking nuclear bomb that seared my fucking brain for life. He said, "NineMileTower, Steve died (in Iraq). A bridge gave out, his hummer flipped, and he drowned."

That was in 2008. I'm 37 now. I have two beautiful girls and an amazing wife. I think of Steve all the time. I ask myself, "Why do I deserve these amazing kids, wife and life, and he had to die?"

I fucking hate Christmas. I hate the stupid music. I hate fake bullshit decorations. I hate that I'm supposed to pretend that every Christmas it doesn't fucking kill me that he isn't here. I'm here enjoying my kids and their holiday and he's dead.

I fucking hate Christmas.

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[-] modeler@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

If your partner doesn't properly value your feelings and doesn't support you in your vulnerable moments, that is a bad sign for the relationship.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago

The point is many women are also impacted by toxic masculinity and will not positively receive their guy opening up / crying.

It's not just a "be yourself dude" dynamic for many, many men.

For better or worse everyone in their orbit expects a certain behavior

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

That relationship is over but that wasn’t the reason it ended. My point is that my willingness to share my feelings wasn’t seen as a sign of strength and I wasn’t supported for doing so. The relationship actually worked better for quite a while after that when I learned to take care of my own feelings (as I do now as a single person).

I think we as a society idealize one type of relationship where your partner is everything to you: lover, best friend, therapist, mentor, tennis partner… It’s not realistic and I think it’s a major reason so few relationships succeed nowadays. Most people are simply not equipped to be all those things for another person.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 0 points 5 months ago

strongly describes how most women treat men.

this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024

137 points (81.3% liked)

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