104

I have said yes to a date by mistake. (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 week ago by squid_slime@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Met a 22 yo in a group I am involved in, she asked if I wanted a lift to a meeting, there and back. I don't know her very well but she's young a lot younger than me by 10years.

So talking on the way back she mentions antidepressants, I too take anti depressants, the conversation moves towards SSRIs and sex. I panic because that shit makes me supper uncomfortable, she said some stuff that was a blatant hint. Anyway me and her have activity later in the week for the group we're in, she's invited me out for a drink after and being friendly and uncomfortable I said yea sure.

How best to proceed? I don't want things to be weird and our group get weird as a result. I wish I could set boundaries.

Worth mentioning I have crazy anxiety so don't judge too hard I mostly run on auto pilot in those situations.

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[-] Please_Do_Not@lemm.ee 17 points 1 week ago

If you're totally uninterested, independently of potential awkwardness, I'd basically explain as much. "I think you're cool and we have a lot in common, but I've been thinking and realized I might not be comfortable with the age difference and potentially changing the group dynamic."

If it's purely the potential external consequences that have you ready to cut off the possibility, and you could actually see yourself in a relationship with them, I'd say you could mention that concern, but don't let it make the decision for you. Sounds like this is someone likely to understand social anxiety and who also values the group dynamic, so I doubt they'd react super negatively to mentioning that you want to be careful about that and preserve it while seeing if there's more there between the two of you.

[-] squid_slime@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago

Cheers, I don't think I am cut out for someone that young, discovering the world and figuring themselves out. But yea I think you and cowbee are correct in I need a dialogue, I will bring it up when where doing some activity.

this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025

104 points (96.4% liked)

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