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I thought this article was interesting, in that I am immediately suspicious of the motives of some of people quoted. The conclusion runs counter to what I want to be true, and I'm curious what other people make of it.

Also men: Do you actually feel attacked? I'm not sure I've ever seen someone criticised for like being strong and capable, or a good carpenter, or a protective dad or whatever. Is this a real thing? or just something that is used as cover like the traditional values vs violent misogyny terminology.

P.S. Thinking there are hordes of ravenous cancellers waiting in the wings is extremely funny to me. Not exactly beating the allegations that listening to Jo Rogan damages your perception of reality.

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[-] Didros@beehaw.org 2 points 5 days ago

I think there is also a legitimate response here to the general acceptance of "all men should just die" rhetoric that was popular for a while there (and still is in some circles).

When I was young I told a girlfriend that I wanted to get into politics to help people. She responded, "but you are a white man, you can't help anyone" or something of the like. Really sticks with you.

[-] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 days ago

“but you are a white man, you can’t help anyone” or something of the like. Really sticks with you.

That's a silly thing to say but it also sounds like it came from the mouth of a teenager? Teenagers say lots of dumb stuff I wouldn't recommend forming societal views based on them.

Most women have had the experience of being humiliated sexually, and belittled intellectually by young men. Do you feel that women should feel like we're under attack?

[-] Didros@beehaw.org 1 points 5 days ago

I can't say you should feel anything, simply that I've felt as though society doesn't want my help due to my gender. Therefore, could extrapolate that into a reason other men might feel that way.

I don't understand people generally, but I do my best to give people the benefit of the doubt.

[-] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago

I'm not trying to have a go, I'm trying to understand. I agree that feeling shut out and having people say awful stuff because of your gender is bad. Surely you see that women deal with this too right though? and extremely extensively.

If you look at the upper echelons of society women are not there, if you look at the trades women aren't respected, in corporate life women routinely feel like they have to get a man to say their ideas to be taken seriously. When I worked tech support I signed my emails with a man's name because otherwise customers argued with me (this wasn't me being ridiculous, my boss asked me to start doing it because he got annoyed reading the tickets going overtime).

So it's like, surely having experienced some of it you get that all of it is bad right? You wouldn't arrive at men being under attack, but rather gender equality being important so nobody feels this way.

[-] Didros@beehaw.org 0 points 5 days ago

Try to see it from the other side, though. I know that equality is the utopian goal. But you must know how it feels when you are having a hard to deal with emotion, and you come to someone with it and get shut down. Receiving "women deal with this to" as a response when you just want to feel heard and listened to it hard.

Men also I'm general don't receive the emotional training in society that women do. So reaching out and trying to work through an emotion they don't really understand, only to be told that women have it worse is a perpetration of toxic masculinity imo.

Treating the other gender as an infant is a huge problem within our society, no doubt. But when dealing with emotions, men are, for the most part, uneducated. Emotional maturity is mostly a person by person and emotion by emotion discussion.

Yes you can say that most problems men face women face too. But men face them alone. Earlier, you asked if a man would feel more safe asking another man to walk them to the train station, of course they would. But would they feel entitled to ask a man to go out of their way to help them feel safe? I would walk a woman anywhere and even offer if it were at all sketchy. Ive never asked any man to make me feel more safe other than my single best friend who I've not spoken to in months.

this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
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