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submitted 2 months ago by LouNeko@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Sometimes you hang out in a bar and you see a group of people (usually a pair) and you maybe want to ask only one of them for their number.

How do you go on about this?

I always feel kind of weird, because if I were to hang out with a friend and somebody were to randomly ask them out specifically, surely I'll be happy for them, but especially if this were a regular reoccurrence my own self esteem would probably take a hit from that. I don't want to put somebody else through that.

Nowadays nobody ever goes out alone, especially not in bars. And if they do, they're usually not in an approachable state. In general there seem to be less and less appropriate places or moments to approach people. Isolating somebody or waiting for them to be alone also feels borderline predatory. I know that it became nigh-impossible for relationships to naturally form out of nowhere, but I really don't want to resort to dating apps or something of that matter.

Also, what if you're maybe interested in both people. You can't just ask "And what about you, are you interested too?" That'd just be awfull for everyone. But maybe you would've had a better response if you would'be asked the other person first and now you'll never find out.

I really hate to be somebody who excludes people especially in a conversation but this seems to be the only area were this is actualy unavoidable.

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[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 31 points 2 months ago

I walked up to two women at a bar and asked for a number. She said she wouldn’t give her number out to a stranger without knowing them. I offered to talk with her and said my friend could chat with her friend so she wouldn’t be rude to her friend. My buddy has a great personality, is married, has kids, isn’t the least bit threatening.

After chatting for between five and ten minutes, she gave me her number. When I texted her to follow up she declined a date but praised the real-world pursuit rather than online. I lost on that one, but I also succeeded in charming her enough to give me her number. Helps to have a great wingman.

this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
36 points (95.0% liked)

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