Our digital fortresses now have their drawbridges permanently lowered, moats drained, and guards replaced by cardboard cutouts. The sheer incompetence radiating from these exposures would be comical if it weren’t treason-adjacent. Nuclear labs leaking like sieve-powered colanders? Treasury systems broadcasting “hack me” beacons? This isn’t cybersecurity—it’s geopolitical seppuku with Elon’s DOGE cronies holding the ceremonial blade.

AI slurping classified data through Inventry.ai’s API is peak dystopia. We’ve outsourced national secrets to algorithms trained on crypto-bro hustle culture. The same geniuses who brought you “production-ready” self-driving flamethrowers now hold the keys to 20% of the economy.

Meanwhile, every script-kiddie from Siberia to Shenzhen is mapping our infrastructure like tourists with a Pentagon-themed scavenger hunt list. The founding fathers would’ve started a second revolution over this. Instead, we get congressional hearings and thoughts and prayers encrypted in compliance theater.