I really am incredibly lucky. She's the type of mom who will adopt people when their own parents are shitty, too, so we could share if you want.

And that's fair - I'm ok with escalators when I'm in closed toed shoes but I do get a little iffy in sandals. My one real phobia is wet paper (like very wet, I don't panic if I spill a little on my desk), so it's way weirder than escalators.