My only metric for affordability was land price per m². Cost of utilities depends on size, small house wont be much more than an apartment. Of course this all depends on the location.
Maybe the US is different but all your points about freedom to do anything outside of cities is pretty much the same as in cities. Even though I live in a house, I cant just burn trash in it, I'll get fined if I don't pick up my dogs shit off the roads and I cant blast music after 10PM. The same laws apply. Cooperation with neighbors is there about as much as it is in the cities.
I think we probably have vastly different view points on what rural means. In my country, rural is not the middle of nowhere where I can do whatever I want. Such rural environment are uncommon here. "Outside of cities" here means living in close proximity to 100-200 other houses in a village. Rural middle of nowhere isn't really a thing here.