What's your old lady's cop show? My girl is always looking for new trash TV while she works.

Like you, I hate the fucking pigs. Got stories about corrupt sheriffs and gang rape and shit. Fuckem.

Here's a fun one from when I was a kid. Had a '65 Chevy fleet side pickup for my first truck. Worked at a tater farm. Was driving home from work and I got pulled over for the first time. I wasn't even wearing boots, just jeans and a straw hat. Complete redneck, may still have had a mullet.

Cop walks up and tells me, "roll down your window."

"I can't, don't have a handle."

"Open the door."

"I don't have a handle for the door on this side, can you open it?"

Cop opens the door and asks me, little red in the face, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"It wasn't for speeding because I can't in this truck."

"You don't have a license plate."

I look at the back glass where it was taped up, and sure enough, it's gone. "Hang on, let me grab it." So I search around in the passenger foot well and find the license plate, duct tape still attached. A Cheetos bag is stuck to it. I hand the assembly to the cop. "Sorry mister, it fell down."

Watch the cop take the license plate, duct tape and Cheeto bag to his car. Could see his shoulders jumping in my rearview, I assume he was laughing his ass off while he radioed that shit in.

Gave me my plate and tape assembly back, told me to fix it, and let me go.

You ever end up in Yankee land, Pittsburgh way, holler at me and we'll take you out to dinner.