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What hills are you dying on?
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That's a hill you will die on from old age. I have never once heard someone say pineapple is not a valid topping in a way I thought was meant to be taken literally and not as an exaggerated way of saying "I don't like it".
Some nice cold grape jelly goes very well on a hot slice of pepperoni. The sweetness and greasyness just go so well together.
For me that sounds exactly as appealing as using pineapple.