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Anon's split personality
(sh.itjust.works)
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I've been guilty of that and I've definitely felt that "ok, I came, I'd rather be alone now." thing described in the post. Regular sex goes a long way in keeping me interested and the most toxic women I've been with have always been the best at it. There are women in my life who I like spending time with but that kind of kills my desire to have sex with them. It's like subconsciously I'm thinking "why would I want to ruin this by bringing sex into it?" or maybe it feels like I'm degrading them if I think about them sexually or I don't want to take advantage of them. I'm not really sure what's going on with me there. I mostly just don't date these days because I have my single life figured out pretty well and bringing someone else into it is always so disruptive and I really don't get enough out of it to be worth the stress. At least this way I'm not fucking anyone else up with my bullshit.
There's a name for that: Madonna-whore complex. Might help find resources to help deal with that. Best of luck; it sounds like a hellish experience.
I've been reading up on this and I'm not sure that's exactly it. I certainly don't despise women or want to degrade them regardless of whether I'm interested in them sexually or not and I'm really not sexually attracted to women I would think of as "whores" (that's not really the word I would use except maybe for an actual prostitute, but I assume they mean sexually promiscuous women). I did have a cold but over-bearing mother though so maybe there is something to this. Maybe there is a spectrum and I'm on the lesser end of it.
Thinking about it more I think it's more due to something with the rejection aspect of it. If I spend enough time with a woman and nothing physical happens it's like I switch into "platonic mode" even if they are physically attractive. I've had the same thing happen in romantic relationships where my girlfriend had a much lower libido than me and it just got to the point where we were barely physically intimate at all because they were shooting me down 90% of the time and I just stopped trying because feel like they're not interested and it's just making them feel pressured or annoying them, and feeling I was shitty about myself when I get shot down, so I just reject myself for them until they signal otherwise (which almost never actually happened). This also led me getting lazier with other aspects of the relationship and eventually falling apart because it's hard to make an effort when you're always feeling like you're missing out on one of the best parts (IMO) of being in a relationship. Which again kind of goes against the Madonna complex (at least as I understood it) because that seems to indicate you stay with the "pure" partner you love, which in my case it was kind of the opposite. I was willing to deal with a lot more toxicity to stay with the "whore" partners because they were fulfilling me sexually.
Anyway, thanks for the response it was an interesting rabbit-hole. My experience really isn't that hellish (at least due to this issue) I feel like I'm coping pretty well in my social life without the romantic aspect. People like me, I like them. It's all good. Sometimes a little lonely but that's a pretty rare feeling honestly.