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Cyclocross gravel, or road?
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My father is also a road cyclist, so I didn't grow up on mountain/hybrid bikes like most other children do; road bikes are pretty much all I know. I'd love to dip into other disciplines, but I don't want to spend a bunch of money on a bike and then find out I don't like it. However, I do fully agree with your point about road bikes being restrictive; I often have to take longer, much busier routes around my town when I could just take one of the many trails that go all throughout it. I don't plan on doing any sort of technical trails, but I'd still like to have the ability to do the most basic of off-roading.
The thing is, I don't really care about the number on my bike computer/watch's speedometer. I just want to feel fast; I want to feel the wind, the rattle of the bike against the road, the momentum shift as I lean into a corner. That's what I enjoy. From what I'm reading, you seem to get that very same thing! Perhaps gravel bikes aren't too bad after all ;)
The occasional trail just to avoid traffic, sure. That's the gateway drug right there and suddenly you're climbing muddy 15% trails after heavy rainfall. Talk about a slippery slope! The disappointment in your dad's face.
You can certainly feel very fast on a gravel. Since my bike came out before Shimano's GRX groups did I have a regular 2x11 Ultegra road group on mine (fine, I swapped to the 11-34 cassette at some point, 36/52 chain rings in front.) 28mm slicks, and I'm pretty sure what I'd have is a road bike. (Hypothesis untested.)