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Anon's best friend is a repper
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this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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I can confidently say that I am the most basic bitch straight cis white male with no strong desire to change any of that.
But also, we only get one body. It certainly isn't unusually to be curious how other people live. I think there's a preprogrammed "How dare you want to change anything!" naturalist attitude. And that discourages anyone from even thinking about the possibility of change.
I think if there was no stigma, you'd definitely see far more of the population coded as Trans, Fluid, or some other variant. I think you'd see more people who are simply gender non-conforming.
I think part of what upsets the Boomer/X generation is the fact that they never got a chance to choose. And as Millennials/Zs/As are umshackled, I'm hoping the resentment fades.
They're not though. They're very rigidly stuck inside little Identity boxes anyway. You're automatically "trans coded" if you're a guy but like dresses, looking pretty and shaving. There's no reason to make those feminine traits though. Real liberation means we ditch the whole thing.
Except for all the people that shuck that kind of gender role conforming shit? I see regular ass looking dudes just wearing dresses sometimes, they don't seem to be burdened by stigma.
Your comment shows either a very limited knowledge of queer identities or potentially large regional differences in the younger gens, because agender, bigender, and gender nonconforming people make up more of younger gens than they do older gens. So many young men are getting into makeup, nail polish, and wearing dresses and skirts. Way more than the older gens.
I'm a gender abolitionist, but your comment is either misguided or outright false.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9380989/
"Boomers+ and Generation X groups were more likely to identify as trans women compared to the younger generational cohorts, who were more varied in their identities."
I read their comment as...
And
Are not the same. There may be quite a bit more exploration of gender identity today, but many, many, many are still in areas or situations where such exploration would be dangerous.
As in, not unshackled, just a bit more free for some.
They said: "They're very rigidly stuck inside little Identity boxes anyway. You're automatically "trans coded" if you're a guy but like dresses, looking pretty and shaving."
That stuck out to me as some of the same trans fear mongering that the right wing uses when they say "tomgirls are a thing. You don't have to be trans".
Im not saying they are right wing, but the idea that doing something gender nonconforming signals that you're trans is not correct and in my experience not a widely popular belief among young people. It seems to me like they were saying people are too quick to call people trans and that's just not the case. If that wasn't their point, I'm not sure what they meant by suggesting that someone is "automatically trans coded".
I agree that there are still spaces where it's not safe, but I don't see that argument being made in the comment.
I think you are in a very progressive area, and don't often see the parts that are not.
I took that as them saying many can't express themselves just like in the op post. That many who are in those younger groups are still stuck in those boxes. They don't feel exploring would be safe, so they stay in those neat little boxes.
I did not, in any way, read that as remotely to the right.
Again, thats my take. I think it may be good to go back and re-read without assuming that the argument you're reading is the one they are making, because to me it reads very differently, especially with that last line:
Thats pretty different from "tomboys are a thing", IMO. Not trying to create an argument here, btw, just saying the signals may have been mixed up and you're on the same side.
I mostly interact with two kinds of people and it's either 1) people who think any deviation is sinful or 2) people who don't notice or comment on others gender expression/identity unless the person brings it up. I'm not suggesting that there is no middle ground, but the thought that young people as a whole aren't more interested/able in exploring gender as a spectrum and gender expression as a whole is just patently false.
The reason I bothered to mention that I'm a gender abolitionist is because it read to me like they were anti the whole concept of gender and believe that young people are just reinforcing it by lumping things in as "trans coded". Aka "boy liking girl things is trans" should be "just a thing a boy likes". But people aren't saying "liking girl things makes you trans". I'm stating that young people are actually better at exploring gender than others. I'm not saying young people are all progressive, just responding to the perceived point and saying that young people (more than other generations) are more flexible in their perception of gender. To me it seems like they are lamenting how instead of breaking down gender norms, people are using it to reinforce the gender stereotype.
I do agree we're all (including them) on the same side. I did reread it before my previous response just to double check, but I appreciate you suggesting that. I want to be clear that I don't think their comment is right wing, just that the talking point "society uses trans people to enforce gender norms" is sometimes used by the right as well.
I understand that reasonable minds can interpret statements differently. To me it reads like they were lamenting how trans ideology is kind of reinforcing gender. To you it reads like they are lamenting the lack of some people's ability to explore gender. That's totally ok. Hopefully they chime in and make their intent clear. Either way I hope we all get to a place where we can live as and present as whatever we wish whenever we wish.
Hear, hear - the sooner the better!
I would argue that the Scottish kilt is one of the manliest items of clothing to exist. Its "gender-normative" equivalent is essentially a skirt.