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submitted 2 years ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] Tedesche@lemmy.world 103 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

As a person born many years after the first moon landing, I always thought it was fucking ridiculous that we managed to put a machine on a celestial body thousands of miles away from our fucking planet. That puts our species' relative IQ compared to other species at 100,000. Back in the Stone Age, our peak achievements were running a long time and throwing objects accurately and at high speed, which allowed us to pwn just about everybody else. Now we're using chemistry and engineering to produce rockets that can move complex objects off the fucking planet to a spheroid object we can see in the sky. Like, what the actual fuck?

Due to sociopolitical issues, I have a fairly negative view of our species these days. But when you look at our technological achievements, you have to sit back and just stare in awe at what we've been able to accomplish. We're homo sapiens, fuck you. Our closest relatives (chimps) are four times as strong as us, fuck them, we experiment on you to learn about ourselves. Elephants, dolphins, crows, and orangutans trail us in intelligence, LMAOROLF, keep playing with them mirrors we gave you. We are so fucking OP we domesticated cows so hard their anal gas is a threat to the fucking planet. We've genetically engineered dogs into the most prolific and diverse species on Earth, and other animals actively seek us out sometimes, because they're like "holy shit, humans do magic, maybe they can get this weird plastic shit off my ass," and we invented that plastic and put it there in the first place. We are the fucking bomb, for better or worse. Nothing compares to us. We are functionally gods, fuck you.

For many reasons, humans suck, fuck us. But god damn, you better fucking respect.

[-] 800XL@lemmy.world 40 points 2 years ago

This is beautiful. An emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end that at no point did I know what was in store for me as a humble lemmy member and fellow homosapien.

[-] DanVctr@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago

As a humble canine Lemmy user, I approve as well.

[-] demlet@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I laughed, I cried, I tried to figure out what "ROLF" stands for...

[-] Piecemakers3Dprints@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago
[-] Cellblend@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Rolling on le floor

[-] wrath-sedan@kbin.social 36 points 2 years ago

I had to look this up to make sure it wasn’t copypasta. It is so eloquently unhinged. Bravo.

[-] GentlemanLoser@ttrpg.network 18 points 2 years ago

WE PUT THE APE IN APEX PREDATOR BITCHES

[-] grue@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Back in the Stone Age, our peak achievements were... throwing objects accurately and at high speed

I mean, that's all a rocket launch is if you get right down to it... \s

this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
602 points (99.2% liked)

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