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xkcd #3109: Dehumidifier
(imgs.xkcd.com)
Title text:
It's important for devices to have internet connectivity so the manufacturer can patch remote exploits.
Transcript:
[A store salesman, Hairy, is showing Cueball a dehumidifier, with a "SALE" label on it. Several other unidentified devices, possibly other dehumidifier models, are shown in the store as well.]
Salesman: This dehumidifier model features built-in WiFi for remote updates.
Cueball: Great! That will be really useful if they discover a new kind of water.
Source: https://xkcd.com/3109/
I got new appliances a couple weeks ago and they're all "smart". Turns out a smart microwave just sends you a phone notification when it's done. By default.
As someone with multiple people living in the house, I can confidently say this is the dumbest "smart" feature ever. Promptly disabled.
My appliances are ‘smart’ but I didn’t bother actually connecting them to my WiFi. I guess preheating the oven remotely could be cool(?) but nah.
The stuff I do use…
The microwave above the stove can talk via Bluetooth(no app or phone involvement at all). Turn on a burner and you can set it to turn on the light and/or vent fan. Another nicety is being able to set the clock on the stove with the full keypad and it just syncs to the microwave.
The only smart thing I'd want an oven to do would be to turn itself off. That's it, really. Did I leave the oven on after I left the house? Easy fix. Otherwise everything else is pretty much useless.
I don't know, I wouldn't mind also being able to tell it to start to preheat while I'm on my way home. Would save a chunk of time if I could literally walk in the door and throw the food in the oven without the extra wait for it to preheat which is usually long enough to be annoying but not long enough to do anything else.
Remote preheating sounds like a terrible idea. What if you mistakenly left something in there?
My stove won't preheat, I guess because it's a safety issue. Apparently you can set a remote start capability ahead of time that gets reset if you open the over door. But I've never tried it, since that seems like a lot.
Any appliance with IoT is a value-subtract.
They do it so in the future they can monetize you in perpetuity in some way
I can see value in HVAC IoT. Away from home and there's a cold spell? Turn up the heating so your pipes don't freeze, but also run it higher when electricity is cheaper (if you have variable pricing).
I don't think I'd want my microwave, washing machine, or toilet to have IoT features though.
My toilet sings when I lift the lid or sit down. I kind of wish I could upload a new song after all these years
Wtf
Any decent heating system will have a thermostat which will activate the heating when it's getting cold. Also no need for internet to be able to setup the time when electricity is cheaper. It's not like it's something you need to do regularly. Setting this all up directly on the heating system works well enough.
With day ahead pricing it changes... Daily.
I want my washing machine to notify my phone when a cycle completes... But maybe not quite that much
Mine chimes a quaint little song. It's enough because it can be heard pretty much anywhere in the house unless I'm in the basement. If I'm not home, the notification wouldn't be particularly useful - I might as well just check when I get home.
I mean the idea isn't the absolute worst. I just don't think it's a huge QoL improvement either.
Most people tend to stay in the same room (or a neighbouring room) when they're microwaving something. They could probably save on the cost of having a full-blown computer with wifi inside the microwave by just having the noisy thing from an alarm clock. But, ah, the fuck do I know?
Some 90's microwaves actually used some chips to measure humidity and using a little reference table adjust how long certain foods need to cook for, for instance, popcorn can be popped perfectly without burning and almost without leftover kernels if you can measure how much water is being released. The same goes for cooking frozen meats, vegetables, and so on.
But what we get in modern ones instead are horrendous touchscreens, simple timers that never quite match the food they promise to work on, and Wi-Fi.
You gotta spend for the moisture sensors and other fancy shit that actually works. We moved into a place with one of those microwaves and we are dreading when it breaks (I think it's like 3k for a new one)
How long are people microwaving things to the point where that is useful??!
As someone who hates appliances beeping, I love push notifications
I'm so tired at things beeping at me