2r4m 😅

• Woken up @ 5am from the anxiety of being late to the new p/t job that fell through late last night (cancelled the alarm before bed, should've slept, brain said fuck that)
• Let the dog out to pee (he's patient, snuggly, and impervious to my brain's fuckery — lucky dog)
• Still dark out, too dark to justify eating, but cold brew? sure, that's foodish.
• Side-gig orders need shipping so they stop silently judging me from their boxes
• Boot up the computer instead, because that's what productive people do to get started
• Avoid important emails that need attn, I'm not awake enough yet
• Too early for meds, gotta time it right so I'm effective for the optimal window
• WTF? Why are there so many tabs in the wrong workspace — what was I doing last night?
• Oh, that's right: csrin. click through tabs for games I might check out meh.
• Is that stomach gurgle hunger or just black cold brew doing its thing? Sun's up, could eat. think about what sounds good Nah, not hungry enough to make that effort worth it yet.
• Biweekly therapy check in @ 10:30
• Have I fed the dog yet? Where's the dog? Ahshit.
• Let dog in so sorry little buddy
• Feed him. I am forgiven (by me — he didn't notice, and now there's fooood) Small win.
• Brush teeth? Nah, don't have to pee yet.
• Make food? No time. I'm late for something, just didn't recall what yet. Refill coffee.
• Dammit. How is it 11?! Fuck.
• Time for group telehealth. Hurry.
• Wifi's down? Thafuq. Troubleshoot. Preventative measures "for next time"
• 11:47 is too late to show up, text therapist apology
• Walk away from computer & that fail
• Stomach is pissed now. Make smoothie. Refill coffee. Fill water bottle. Let dog out.
• Dishes? No time. Main therapist in 10mins
• Made it! Yes! ...Drill down on trauma residue, "learn" calming/centering techniques, close out session feeling drained. Leave computer & bad memories floating near it
• Where's my water bottle? Oh. Smoothies warm now. Chug it before it tastes worse. Stomach is mad but full enough.
• Did I take my meds yet? Shit. pill organizer sighs Take meds to spite it.
• Put laundry from last week away? Not on camera, it can wait.
• Oh, new orders, better thank them immediately
• Why are there so many tabs in the wrong workspaces? Ah, right. Which games, again?
• Where's the dog?

... ad nauseum

Yay for Mondays.