594
Conditional Baptism
(lemmy.zip)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2025
594 points (99.2% liked)
Programmer Humor
25843 readers
2109 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Could you imagine how op you could become though if baptisms stacked
Can you get more clean than clean?
Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care
I imagine if baptisms stacked, you could pile on a gazillion of them like ablative armor against incoming sin.
Lol, imagine if showers stacked. You could spend a week showering and then all filth just disappears when it touches you
But then, what happens to the filth?
The only way I see this working is if you shower, you just continuously wash filth off yourself. But then does it all just kick in when you walk out of the shower? Or maybe, you never become clean until you've washed a lifetime of filth off yourself, then you're clean forever
I'm imagining every baby just covered in sludge, and after years of washing they become clean. Imagine your kid just never gets cleaner, and everyone just thinks you're a terrible parent. Imagine cleaning your kid and they become clean way ahead of schedule
There's some real existential horror here
In reality, if you bathe too much you just stand to lose too much sebum, making it easier for dirt to stick to your skin (and harder to remove) until the layer forms again.
Incoming baptismal penetration estimate from carnal sins: -17 layers
Shield integrity: 69%
Hull integrity: 100%
System: stable
I think erasing one's body could make you more clean than clean
So what you're saying is that fundies need to be cremated? Possibly AFTER death from other causes?
no no. they need to switch to Flouroantimonic acid instead of just flowing water.
Conceptual numeracy is a human thing. The universe absolutely cares about quantifiable physical properties which we represent as numbers.
Doubly so with religion, though 🤷