70
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] deathbird@mander.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

To the ends of coherent communication, intent always has to have priority over perception. That's not to absolve speakers of responsibility for failures of communication, just to define the ends of communication.

Consider a discorse you may have heard before, in some variation:

A: How're you? B: I'm terrible. I was trying to mow the lawn today, and the mower just wouldn't start. I think the gas I used was too old. Did you know gasoline can actually expire? (etc for a couple of minutes). A: I'm so sorry to hear that. Your total is $57.48. Will that be cash or card?

B misinterprets A's perfunctory greeting as a literal inquiry. What's more important? That A's original intent be understood (I.e. A simple salutation and transaction)? Or that B's interpretation be recognized and explored? I believe it's A's intent.

Or maybe: C: Nice shirt! D: What? C: I said that's a nice shirt man. It looks good on you. D: I'm not gay. C: What?

D's perception of C's compliment as a sexual advance is incorrect. What's more important here: C's intent, or D's interpretation? I believe it's again C's intent. Maybe it's easier to empathize with C here, but I think the principle holds broadly. C gives a compliment, and D replies with a general inquiry as to the intent. C mistakenly believes that he was not heard clearly, and repeats the statement with greater detail. D, believing that C is clarifying that he is making a pass at him, expresses that he is not interested. C is confused D's seemingly random declaration of his sexual orientation, and asks why he said that.

And on it goes when people talk past each other. But the way people stop talking past each other is by understanding the intent behind each other's words. Understanding a perception, or more particularly a misperception, only gets you part of the way there. It helps you determine whether or not communication was successful, but it is a measure of the success of communication only by the degree to which it conforms to the intent of the speaker.

this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
70 points (96.1% liked)

Asklemmy

43843 readers
645 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS