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Where I live, Germany, it is very common to spend weeks, sometimes even months, trying to slowly get a child used to going to day care. In my home country, the Netherlands, this wasn't really a thing when I was younger and, from what I've learned from people with young children there, isn't common even today. That got me thinking.

Are there many differences between countries when it comes to day care and specifically getting your children to go to day care in the first place?

We're currently getting our second child used to day care. For our first child the entire process took six weeks and represented the Idea trajectory - nobody was ill, she liked going there, she liked eating there and she didn't make a fuss when it was time to sleep there. Still, this represents a significant investment of time (and therefore money) for any working parent. Sometimes it seems really absurd and impractical. I get the impression that the entire day care system in Germany revolves around the idea that mothers don't work or, if they do, it's only ever part time.

How does this look like in other countries? I've linked an article (in German, but translation services are available) about the system we're stuck with here, if anyone wants to dive deeper.

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[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

My pov: working in a kindergarten in Finland.

It's really up to the parents but very few took advantage of the option to stay with their kids the whole time for weeks on end.

Anyhow, most of the time, however clingy and teary the kid is, they come around a few minutes after the parent left and start having a good time.
Parents need to be told this, encouraged to let go just like the kids.
And then it depends how the parents react when they pick their kid up: do they fuss, do they have a bad conscience, do they even ask the kid if it was sad, in other words, do they enforce and even reward the clinging, or do they encourage them to take their first steps into independence?

I'm not saying it isn't hard for kids, going to kindergarten for the first time. Social pressure, stress. But it's harder if parents are very protective and/or the kid had very little contact with other kids until then.

No idea what the situation is like where you live, but I'd go mad if I had 10 kids + 10 parents during the whole day for a whole week.

edit: hmm, this is also age dependent. I was working with kids 3 and up.

this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2025
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