Is 16 and 19 really that bad? (lemmings.world)

submitted 1 day ago by blackwitch@lemmings.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

65 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So, my good friend (18m) had a falling out with his ex (19m) because the ex bullied him and also because he is apparently dating a 16f, so my friend thinks he is a pedophile for obvious reasons (adult + minor).

I can see why this would be considered bad but also, when I turn 16, my girlfriend will be 19 too, as I am currently a young sophomore who is about 3 years younger than her girlfriend, a senior.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] Infrapink@thebrainbin.org 1 points 1 day ago

America does not have a national age of consent; each state sets their own. It's 16 in 30 states, 17 in nine states, and 18 in 11 states.

Yes, the age of consent is 16 in the majority of the USA.

Several of the states which set it at 17 or 18 also have close in age exemptions (AKA Romeo and Juliet laws) which cover the case that OP raises. In such cases, it is legal to have sex with somebody slightly below the age of consent as long as both people are sufficiently close in age; some states, such as Texas, also require them to have been dating since both were under the state age of consent. This means that, in most of America, it is perfectly legal for a 19-year-old to have sex with a 16-year-old.

The misunderstanding most likely comes from the fact that the majority of entertainment media is made in New York and California, where the age of consent is 18 with no exceptions, and pop culture writers act like this is the case everywhere.

Also I should clarify that bringing a minor across state limes to take advantage of a lower age of consent is a felony, for obvious reasons.

this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025

47 points (87.3% liked)

Asklemmy

50850 readers

800 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS