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Do you believe in God?
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I went through an existential crisis in my 20s because I was 'told' I needed to be religious but never was. I read a lot of theological and philosophical texts and came to a conclusion similar to yours, if there's a 'God', then they're cruel. I oddly get Pantheism more than Monotheism, because at least it justifies that there's 'good' and 'bad' deities but a lot of them are based on interpretations of phenomena that can now be explained by science.
I took much more to philosophy. I know what I believe is right and wrong morally, and science explains (almost) everything. If there's a 'God'-like figure, they can suck my nut sack because I believe they are at best indifferent, at worst, evil.