I can absolutely imagine someone trying to find answers about themselves, reading terf bigotry, and getting forced way back into the closet to become the trans version of the “everyone gets crushes on their friends” lady.

That's a sad image. I personally feel quite privileged by having grown up in a relatively (for the time and location) queer-friendly environment and now living in a quite accepting bubble (including my employer, coworkers, family and friends), yet I consider myself an egg that's not guaranteed to hatch due to personal insecurities and stuff.
I can't imagine how tough and gut wrenching it must be to not be this privileged and wonder about the things I do.