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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Lussy@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

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[-] christiansocialist@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

Yes it is a real concern. And honestly, I think leftists are terrible at giving dating advice, especially when it comes to men. There are some considerate leftists that actually give concrete advice (like start exercising, find clothes that fit better, maybe trim the beard so it looks nice, get a good haircut or shave it completely if balding, try to look people in the eye instead of looking down all the time, learn small talk, learn banter, learn how to express romantic interest, find that difference between confident and creepy and know when you've crossed it, etc.) Most of the "advice" I see is just "don't be a r!pist!" and "don't harass women!" Like bro that's obvious, but to the guy that's constantly getting rejected, especially when apps like Tinder make it so the a few super good looking guys pretty much clean house (and this dynamic absolutely spills over into offline interactions), there needs to be better advice.

When this advice is lacking, or people dismiss these young men because "there are so many other problems why would I care about MEN!", this can lead to alienated young men finding their way into reactionary spaces. In this case a little prevention is worth ten tons of cure.

And lastly, I'll say this, it's completely disingenuous to remain "friends" with someone after you've been friendzoned if you initially had romantic feelings for them and those romantic feelings still persist. Unless your feelings magically also changed to platonic ones, then there's a relational imbalance that will always linger. It's better to just say "hey I like you in a more romantic way and even though you want to be friends, perhaps it's better that we don't hang out."

[-] DayOfDoom@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

it's completely disingenuous to remain "friends" with someone after you've been friendzoned

Retort: no it's not. Try being a normal person.

[-] christiansocialist@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

it's completely disingenuous to remain "friends" with someone after you've been friendzoned

Retort: no it's not. Try being a normal person.

Did you read the rest of the sentence, or the paragraph? Or are you just knee-jerk reacting to a part of what I said? Honest question.

[-] AlpineSteakHouse@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Did you read the rest of the sentence, or the paragraph? Or are you just knee-jerk reacting to a part of what I said? Honest question.

It's the latter, unfortunate part of hexbear's culture being so focused on dunking. I've been flamed for comments that get widespread support a few weeks later. Whether or not most people disagree is entirely based on the vibes of the post for minor issues.

[-] christiansocialist@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I've been flamed for comments that get widespread support a few weeks later.

Looks like that happened in this very thread lol. I see comments now that basically mirror what I said earlier in the thread's history.

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this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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