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My KDE Neon becomes unresponsive almost daily
(lemmy.world)
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Neon doesn’t force you to actually update the ubuntu it’s built on unless you manually do it iirc. Update your shit and report back.
Once you decide not to try that, top, btop atop or htop can tell you the amount of ram you’re using. They will all also tell you how your disk writes are doing.
It doesn’t sound like you have a ram issue, it sounds like you have a disk issue. First and foremost, once you’ve verified that you have plenty of memory available using a tool described above, expand your windows vm to 8gb. Windows would aggressively page if it had only 4gb and windows in a vm will also aggressively page when it only has 4gb, except it has to go through kvm to access those qcows.
It sounds like you have way too many tabs open. Close some and see if that helps you out. You can highlight a bunch of them by selecting one and ctrl-shift clicking on another one to get every tab in between. Right click and add to bookmarks then close them.
Next, use spinrite with I think a level 3 scan on all your nvme drives. It shaves a write cycle off the top (you have hundreds of thousands at the very least) but in return makes everything fast again. Flash memory becomes less responsive as read cycles on a block pile up until it’s rewritten.