I think you are giving far too much credit to a director who himself admits not knowing how to write women because he has no women friends or relationships.

HASHINO: When you make a true friend, it’s possible to meet up with them after ages of being out of touch, and still pick up exactly where you left off. Thinking about maxed Social Links in this way sounds about right.

THAT CERTAINLY MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. COME TO THIN OF IT, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU CAN ONLY FORGE THAT KIND OF FRIENDSHIP WITH SOCIAL LINKS OF THE SAME GENDER. OPPOSITE GENDER SOCIAL LINKS WILL REVERSE QUICKLY. DOES THIS MEAN TRUE FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN PEOPLE OF OPPOSITE GENDER DO NOT EXIST?

HASHINO: I’ve never successfully forged a true friendship with a girl in real life.

SOEJIMA: Neither have I.

HASHINO: I guess that means we couldn’t implement it into the game because we don’t know what it’s like. (laughs)

I like your conclusion here, it's fun for many reasons to retroactively fit themes and messages like this into works that do not deserve it (and believe me, Persona 4 does not deserve it), but I also think sometimes it is fine to call a spade a spade. Persona is a pretty reactionary series. It's fine to like it anyway. I don't. Nocturne and SMT4 are more subversive with their writing than any Persona game I've ever played, and Nocturne barely even has a narrative.