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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by bradorsomething@ttrpg.network to c/theonion@midwest.social

(Milan, Italy) On the heels of the disqualification of Ukrainian athlete Vladyslav Heraskevych for wearing a helmet considered political speech, the International Olympic Committee has released a follow up ruling, saying that Palestinian athletes should also moderate their behavior or face disqualification. On Thusday, Afraa Mohammad, a Palestinian refugee and Olympian, was overheard saying, “I missed lunch for training, I’m starving… I would kill to have anything to eat right now.”

The IOC declared the statement a political message, given the starvation and famine conditions imposed on Gaza by Israel. “Arabic athletes must refrain from hunger, starvation, avoidable illness, forced migration, or genocide,” the statement read, with the threat of possible expulsion as a consequence.

The Israeli delegation applauded the move. “We’ve been muzzled as well,” said Yael Arad, head of Israel’s Olympic Committee. “We asked for our delegation to separate any Palestinians access from food or water, and we were denied immediately. And don’t talk to me about not being able to shoot journalists covering their stories. This is like make-believe in here. They walk right in and then leave. It’s not normal.”

Representatives from the IOC say it’s important for countries to get along at the games. “The Olympics have a long and proud history throughout the years,” said one spokesperson from the IOC. “We remain proud to take massive gifts to select a host country, insist they spend billions in infrastructure, and leave them with huge debts while it all slowly crumbles. Also games and medals.”

Some athletes are against the recent political rulings. Leo Sturbgetter, of the US Livestock Detangling Team, said, “that helmet was pretty cool, they should let all of us put names and faces on our gear. Like my great-uncle Bud Light. Wink.”

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[-] Zoot@reddthat.com 1 points 14 hours ago

I should just tag you as the onion guy cause these are good.

[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 2 points 8 hours ago

Does that make me like the ogre guy?

this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
33 points (100.0% liked)

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