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Imagine being afraid of the ‘friend zone’ (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Lussy@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

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[-] christiansocialist@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

I mean, I don't think it's a "legitimate issue" in the sense that it's something society needs to deal it, it's an interpersonal thing that sucks but that individuals need to deal with in the best way they can.

I think it's both. Just like any other issue that socialists talk about, like racism, sexism, classism, etc. They can all be "dealt with" on an interpersonal level, but ultimately there needs to be a societal change.

[-] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

Just like any other issue that socialists talk about, like racism, sexism, classism, etc. They can all be "dealt with" on an interpersonal level, but ultimately there needs to be a societal change.

what societal change do you think needs to occur about this issue?

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

Probably making it so boys and men have emotional support other than their partner or therapist and generally teaching them not to treat relationships as status signifiers or commodities. Unfortunately, that probably has to start young and we already have a bunch of shitty men floating around

[-] 1nt3rd1m3nt10n4l@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

teaching them not to treat relationships as status signifiers or commodities.

Well the problem is that relationships aren't status signifiers. They are status, in the most concrete way possible.

Edit: Like it's an old truism, that certain kinds of guys will deliberately pursue making money more than actually trying to build their social skills directly because it can open more doors for you socially & "romantically".

Edit 2: What I'm getting at here is that "status" is an inherently social concept. It has to do with the people who you interact with on a day-to-day basis, & what you can expect from your interactions with them. In this sense, yes, somebody who doesn't have a lot of friends or any romantic partners, is objectively socially inferior to somebody who does. They are, by definition, valued less by the the people around them & are less socially integrated, as a consequence of that. And that itself will usually be the consequence of the person in question possessing some quality that is considered inferior by the society they live in.

The whole issue I think is something that just isn't really well addressed by any contemporary discussion on the matter, I think.

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