i wrote this in a rush…

so i’m polyamorous. i’m 15 years old and a girl. i go by “jessica” on here, which obviously isn’t my real name but its what you can call me on this account. at a therapy group center, i met this other polyamorous dude “avery” (m16). at first, i was 13 and didn’t know he was polyamorous, so when we connected really fast and he mentioned his girlfriend all of a sudden, i was sad but gave up and just wanted to be his friend.

our therapist, “miss alex” (all fake names so they are in quotes) left as she was having a baby, then got another job or decided to be a stay-at-home mom, i forgot which. avery left the group a while before.

one time, i was in the waiting room and i saw him with a group of other teens, but i decided not to say anything. im faceblind and did not know whether that was him or not.

well, some time after, i was sitting pretty close but not right next to him, and i could clearly see that was the avery i knew. he recognized me and we finally exchanged social media usernames.

we became close. here’s the thing: i found out he was polyamorous but he had a boyfriend, “david” (m16). he asked me if i wanted to, and i said yeah, and he said he would check in with david and finally tell him he was polyamorous. david supported him but wanted to be monogamous.

well, a month or two ago, they broke up. about 3 weeks ago, avery confessed to me finally when i joined his group again, and i realized i was so sad about him and david being together but happy for them because i was jealous and wanted to be the one for him.

now we are together. sometimes, he’s busy with other things or just reads the messages and doesn’t respond. sometimes, i get scared i text too much since i’ve been insulted and had mean things said to me from that, but the rational part of my brain says i’ve known him for like 3 years and for over a year fully, and he would not do that. he’s always been respectful and loving even as a friend.

but i have an anxious attachment i’m trying to work on. my attachments are different depending on the partner and i for some reason always am more “secure” around girls and more “anxious” around boys, though i used to be avoidant.