• ankle still fucking me up. spoke with buddy's wife who is training as a PT -- turns out inflammation is good, actually (really, that's the body healing itself or something) and therefore that all the Ibuprofen i've been eating, all the icing, all the raising of my leg over my heart, is unhelpful WRT quicker recovery (it could be beneficial if the inflammation was causing too much pain i guess). also spoke with running buds who recommended heel raisers for the shoes -- purchased those and restarted running this week, going out every other day for about 5k. feels much better on my achilles but i can feel the forces now spread to my knees and hips; hopefully these don't break down now as well.

also finding and executing a rehab program i found online, though it will probably behoove me to reach out to find a PT this week -- i imagine it might take forever to actually get in and get seen so i should start the process now. rehab exercises probably seem helpful, though perhaps i am over doing things as my lower leg is now frequently feeling very tender. also, interestingly, the rehab site recommends the heel raisers as only a temporary measure, and suggests that continued use could lead to a shortening of the tendon and ultimately make things worse, in as little as a week (?? i "raised" this concern with running bud and he thought that sounded foolish and i sort of am of the same intuition -- i run in low drop shoes, so if anything the raisers might make my shoes constructively mid or high drop, but i wouldn't see why that wouldn't be the same as running in such shoes, which most people do, and which many find success in).

perhaps i'll also drop by the running shoe store, for advices/more intentionally rec'd orthotics or even a more traditional, cushioned shoe.

• reading group goes on. it's tedious. homer's battle scenes, which might, in totality, have a kind of stylistic merit, and a brutal rhythm, are frequently interminable, and the outcomes always telegraphed and mostly uninteresting, other than conveying a sense of caprice and unfairness. these are punctuated though with some great moments: ingenious similes (words fall from Odysseus's mouth like snowflakes, hector moves as quick as a mountain; (but how many times is a warrior like a cornered lion or boar, or a man downed like a chopped poplar --so many!)), psychological/proto-psychological depth (helen and paris selfish/narcissistic justification/explanation of their unwillingness to part and avoid disaster: they're fated to be a theme in songs for generations yet to come) and depiction of idealized contemporary mores (fighters refusing to fight and trading armor because their fathers or uncles had once shared each others hospitality -- now the families are locked in ever reciprocating guest-friendship).

i wish i had more time to read through all the commentary but it's enough just to try to keep up with all the battles and the names and their fathers, etc.

• applied for small, additional gig. would've been good experience, and it turns out i didn't have enough experience to even get it. but i got the interview, and they wanted references, so i had to face the psychic anguish of reaching out to old mentors/colleagues with whom i did good work but didn't do good in maintaining these relationships. but i did reach out, and they were happy enough to hear from me, and were willing to go to bat for me, and now i've re-opened those channels and something good will come out of this; at the very least, strengthening my ability to push through my own mental/emotional blocks and forgive myself for past goofs (the perceived shame of which formerly was prohibitively debilitating; now is just nearly prohibitively debilitating). so, finally, some improvement.-----