my partner is an arachnopobe so it's been a very long journey. childhood trauma through association so it's tough to crack with exposure

meanwhile i had some ambient fear when young, but later i would feed ones in my yard and got in rock fights against neighboorhood kids trying to step on our semi-domesticated grass spider mega-webs.

not sure when it happened before or after but i had a dream that a spider goddess ambushed me in the dark woods by her children tangling me up and politely told me they wouldn't hurt me if i didn't hurt them so i guess i made some kind of deal