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Hail math! (discuss.online)
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[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 104 points 16 hours ago

As soon as she leaves:

"Ugh! FINALLY!!! I thought she would never leave...Ok, pass me the blood of the innocent."

[-] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 hours ago

Finally, you can play your records in reverse to hear the sermon of the devil

[-] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

"Congratulations, you have discovered the secret message, please send your answer to ol' Pink, care of, the funny farm."

[-] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 23 points 14 hours ago

"Let me do a check to see if I give you the right blood... Nope, not with a 5. Here's your blood orange juice."

[-] RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 20 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Satan: ”Ok, so you mispronounced beelzebub which would normally give you -2 on the summoning check. However, your virgin blood counts as a superior sacrifice material so it all cancels out. Now, lemme get my dice..”

[-] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 3 points 9 hours ago

I saw a comic recently where the evil cultist tried to sacrifice his virgin friend to gain power/favor from a demon. Only, whoops! The friend had lied about being a virgin, and the cultist was one. Cultist learned just what the hard way is on that one.

[-] ApertureUA@lemmy.today 3 points 9 hours ago

username checks out

this post was submitted on 23 May 2026
639 points (98.8% liked)

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