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this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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I've only ever had one date in my life that went bad. I had a feeling I was about to get ghosted so I asked her to like. Lemme know why it went so bad from her pov. It was an interesting conversation.
If they bring it up just be honest with them.
Sooooo ... why'd it go so bad.
This was forever ago. But basically we both drove to a mall for I think sushi and a movie ?
The conversation during sushi went swell but during the movies I could tell she was sitting farther away from me than she had to.
On the way out I asked her if she wanted me to walk her out and she said nah. I was taken aback it was late at night. And was like. Are you sure ? She said yes so we parted ways.
I remember thinking man I'm not sure what I did wrong. That whole thing usually works. Lol.
Once I got home I messaged that I apologized if I made her feel uncomfortable in anyway and asked her on her end what went so wrong.
She told me during the movie / on the way out she thought I might attempt to kiss her. And she wasn't feeling that way. I thanked her for being honest and that was that.
I wouldn't have tried tho. I was fully aware that things weren't going ideal. But yeah. Thats the story.
Ah yes it's that pre-emptive awkwardness of nearing the end of a date, knowing that (although nothing in particular went spectacularly wrong) you don't really want to have more and trying to signal this to the other person.
I've been on the receiving end of that too and now, many years later and away from the dating game, I can retroactively see it and accept it for what it was but man, it would have stung back then to hear it in plain and simple words. Being ghosted seemed like a better option to me too in retrospect. Kudos to you for being mature enough to handle that conversation!
I (female) once went on a very not good date. The guy had no interests except for dead watching youtube, no ambitions and the only thing going on in his life was that he had sent a submission to attent a Polish university.
The only thing we did was havr a walk around town because usually walking makes people talk. Except they don't if they don't have anything to talk about.
So the date was nearing its end the guy looked like it went smooth af and leaned in for a hug.
So I stretched out my hand and shook his and thanked for the date.
Boy was stumped.
Hahaha I was like that boy too.
Girl:does he have interests? Is he passionate about something? Do I see ourselves spending quality time together?
Boy: I'm on a date, my shirt is clean, I have mints for my breath, I have gone for the romantic walk in the park, this time I've done it all perfectly! I'll get at least a kiss for sure!
This guy though was completely personality-less
I don't usually set the bar high either.
But if you ask me what my favourite interests are and I tell you that I like reading Fantasy books and baking and spending time with friends and PC gaming and you have no idea what any of those are. And then I ask you back.
You can't tell me "Some times I go out and have ONE beer with my friends. Can you drink more than one beer? Eh. We usually meet up for one hour once per month. What I do the rest of the time? Eh. Nothing? I watch youtube before I go to bed? Channels? What type? Ehhh.... Anything else that is happening in my life? WELL, I AM going to go study medicine in Poland ๐. When I'm going? I'm not really sure. Well I am waiting for the reply back from them. I am enrolled yes! What letter? The confirmation letter. No I haven't heard back from them yet. How I know I'm enrolled? Well I did send them my submission letter so I am definitely enrolled. How I know if I haven't gotten confirmation? Eh. Well. I sent them a submission letter ofc."
That's when I looked at my watch and said "Ooh time sure does fly fast! I need to hurry if I'm to catch the bus. Thank you for your time. Goodluck with your submission. Bye."