I don't think assholishness is necessarily a bad thing, it's value-neutral.

Really depends on the context ie who you're being a dick to and for what reason.

Like we had a "dont be a dick to your comrades" rule for a reason, for example.

I've seen the backlash to "let people enjoy things" lead to some behavior I'd consider fairly toxic in its own right. I bring up the minors thing because they tend to be the most passionate about fandom stuff, and I see grown ass adult grumpy shitheads harassing them for liking inoffensive things. Which I think is kind of the source of that attitude.

"Let people enjoy things" for me isn't about "don't criticize things people like". Its about "dont go out of your way to do targeted harassment towards people over things they like". I mean there are obvious exceptions like streamers who streamed wizard game, but even things like that can cross into harassment.

Like, if you check my post history i'm literally currently dealing with a mod of a wrestling forum who's so obsessed with bunny cop that he has alerted both his politics and how he moderates around that fact, and claims its because Judy is his comfort character. So OBVIOUSLY I think people can become to obsessed with their things and make it part of their identity in a self-warping way. And that those people can use "let people enjoy things" as a shield for that behavior.

But I think there's a middle ground here because if you think "I'm allowed to criticize things" cant be used as a shield for toxic behavior as well, you're wrong.